Conspiracy Theory

Probably more people than want to admit it believe in conspiracy theories. I'm talking about the unexplained effects of chain reactions that stem from unexplained phenomena. Not necessarily the deep conspiracy of Roswell, New Mexico, but the kind of things that occur unexpected. The sort of situations that are twisted so tight into a maze of questions to which there are no apparent or plausible answers, and no one who could provide them is inclined to do so.

So the story goes in the murder of Bryce Meyers. It is now several weeks later from the date he was shot to death, and Alexis Martin is really no closer to knowing the full story of how and why he was killed as she was from the beginning. She had spent everyday of the first two weeks after that alarming phone call from Abigail alternating between being in a scary "day mare" and an all too real reality.

Alexis had been questioned twice more at the hands of the local police. The second time she received a visit from Mercer Holding and Artie Callahan the first detectives to question her; and the next time she had the privilege it was with two different ones. Although she found the whole thing to be a big, royal pain in the rear end, she couldn't help but be impressed with the new duo. Two women detectives who were both in their mid-fifties and were so sharp and at the top of their game that they made the other two look like rookies. Detectives Rosalyn Baker and Charlene Harris were deceptively friendly, and cunningly solicitous. They knew how to lead a person into saying things unawares, simply by lulling one into a false sense of security.

But now, she had been assured by the first two detectives that there would be no more questions and her cooperation had been greatly appreciated, but in essence they were done with her. Alexis was thrilled to hear this, but she had a lot of questions of her own that she could not get answers to. She never heard from Abigail again after the one time she visited her in jail. This happened just before Abigail suddenly disappeared from town.

Nothing else about the case appeared in the news, and the last thing she was able to hear was quite disturbing. In the beginning she had felt a heart-wrenching sympathy for Bryce's mother. She could not imagine how heartbroken Melinda Meyers must be. But about three weeks after his death, Alexis was attending a meeting of her local business women's chapter, and was the recipient of some startling news. Pretty darn sure that she was not meant to overhear this, Alexis could not believe her ears.

According to the overheard conversation, Bryce's parents Kyle and Melinda Meyers were persons of interest in an ongoing federal investigation. All of their personal assets were being scrutinized and although they had not been frozen yet, it seems to be just a matter of time before they would be, and federal warrants issued for their arrests. And the clincher was this: Bryce was a personal friend of the  Special Prosecutor who was in line to work the case. The SP had been gleaning information from Bryce for months to be used against his parents.

And...Abigail Vanderberry had led him on to the point when he fell in love with her and they became engaged and planned their wedding. The wedding was never meant to take place, and all of the money that had been spent for the elaborate affair had been front money. Abigail was an undercover agent and her job had been to bring him in after the farce had been played out enough to reveal what she needed to know about his parents. Somewhere along the way, Abigail fell in love for real with Bryce, but then hours before the wedding was to have taken place (or so it was supposed to) she shot Bryce to death. The original plan was to have been for her to leave him a note with an explanation of why she walked out on him, and to dump him at the altar. Real love was not to have been a factor.

Kyle and Melinda had been planning to empty their bank accounts and open new off shore ones before their son had been killed. They had bought a new house, arranged to sell the one they currently lived in, and had wrapped up all of their domestic affairs in readiness to make a move to Tahiti. They had planned to be gone before the nuptials, based on a tip they had gotten that Abigail was in fact, not the person she pretended to be.

Nothing about this whole situation made sense to Alexis. However, she was grateful to be out of the mix. Now perhaps she could put all of it behind her, and get on with her life. It would be a most welcome change to get up in the morning and not feel as if she was living in a state of suspended animation. She may never get all of the answers to her questions, but she would draw a great deal of comfort from the money she had earned as the wedding planner. Thankfully, the check had cleared and now the plush cushion the cash made in her account was sufficient to make her willing to abandon the whole matter, and leave the conspiracy theories to the buffs who savor them.

Which is what she did as she hummed a jaunty tune all the way to the bank.

Happy Anniversary to US!

Why is today a great day? Because...today is our FIRST Anniversary!  The Real Grandmothers of Charlotte celebrates the first year of being in syndication on the web, and we'd love to show our appreciation to our readers by giving the anniversary gifts to YOU. It's easy; all you have to do is sign up to follow us by email from the landing page of our site. The first twenty-five followers to sign up will receive the link that will direct you on how to claim your free gift via your email address.


This is not a spam attempt or an attempt to engage you in any marketing deal. We would love to give away gifts to everyone, but since that is not practical, we have to limit the giveaway to twenty-five people. Thank you again for your loyalty, your comments, your support during the past twelve months, and we hope that you will continue to be a fan.


The Real Grandmothers of Charlotte
Giveaway deadline is November 30, 2012. Free gifts will be distributed on December 1, 2012.

What Happens in Kingston Stays in Kingston (Part One)

The flight from Charlotte was smooth and quite pleasant, and the short layover they had in Atlanta didn't faze them one bit. Of course, having first class seats and sipping champagne all the way was an added comfort bonus. Nothing but top shelf for these ladies! When they landed at Norman Manley Airport, there was a luxury town car waiting for them, complete with a liveried driver holding up a sign that read "The Diva Ladies from America". Now who else could that be but them?

Clearing customs had been a breeze , and they proceeded to baggage claim to get hold of the mountain of luggage that belonged to them. As they stood waiting at the carousel for their stuff to come around, they chatted about what they would do first with the remainder of the evening. They kept time to the rhythm of the island music as they patiently waited. The music was lively and the mix of the other instruments coming together in perfect harmony just increased their sense of well-being and excitement.

Finally they began to see some pieces that belonged to them appear on the carousel. Alexis reached for her two pieces of matching Ralph Lauren, while Claudette could see hers and Helena's coming up next. Bonnie helped Claudette and Helena pull their five pieces of Channel off the belt, a porter approached them and asked if they required assistance in loading their bags. Since he was standing there with a huge luggage rack, there was no point in turning down his help. He went ahead and started to pile on the stuff handling the designer luggage with care.  And just as they were starting to get a little concerned about Bonnie's bags, they rolled out of the opening on the belt.


The porter reached for them as Bonnie began to, thus softly colliding with her and touching her hand. Bonnie was a little startled as she looked up at him. She was momentarily nonplussed and she could have sworn that she felt a spark when their hands touched. The look he gave her lasted only a second, but that second in time spoke volumes. She did not mistake the smolder she saw there or the barest of smiles he gave her as he straightened from picking up the luggage. Hmm, she just might have the beginnings of an island romance going on here! She had to admit that it was a thrilling thought to consider; getting close to an ebony eyed brown skinned brother and being carefree for a little while.

The ladies had discussed this very possibility days ago. They knew it was a possibility that they might meet someone. Being women of a certain age did not stop them from having normal desires and romantic thoughts. But they were smart and sophisticated enough to establish boundaries and keep themselves safe and protected at all times.

They climbed inside of the town car, luxuriating in the dim coolness of the interior where once again they were listening to island music. The driver introduced himself to them as Delray Major, and that he would be at their complete disposal the entire time they were here. He was absolutely adorable in his uniform and with his smooth old world charm. His accent was beautiful, and the ladies all agreed that he was such a lovely man...probably in his early to mid sixties  and well-groomed. In unison, they thanked him and confirmed the address of their house and then they were on their way!


In between shared laughter, some pretty raunchy jokes, and dancing in their seats, the ladies took in the passing scenery. Helena made a special toast to Claudette for planning the perfect vacation, and for the attention to detail she had given to everything. It had been agreed that they would unpack, have a refreshing shower and then dine at a nearby native restaurant that provided their guests with a late seating dinner. Bonnie had said she'd want to take a brief nap, so it was decided that naps would indeed be welcomed by everyone. No use trying to enjoy the evening with tired eyes and stiff joints, so the order of the evening had been established; unpacking, naps, showers and then...let the good times roll!

"What's Going On"?

"Mother mother...there's too many of you crying. Father; father; father...there's far too many of you dying. You know we've got to find a way; to bring some lovin here today...". These are the immortal words of the late iconic Marvin Gaye, who recorded this song on a hit album by the same title in the early 1970"s. It immediately became the theme song for a race of people in the United States of America...Black Americans who sought after answers to the hundreds of "whys" plaguing us. 


In a decade that was ripe with extreme racial unrest, political corruption, and the fall out from the Viet Nam war, this song was a fitting mantra. We asked "what's going on?" about racial bias and prejudices, bigotry, violence in the streets and the lack of opportunities for a better way of life among our people. The truly tragic thing about all of this is that some forty-odd years later...we are asking the same question for many of the same reasons.


Sadly, the same biases and prejudices are alive and well. Oh, not as much as before, and not so easily recognized, but as thinly veiled as it may appear...make no mistake...we can see, touch and witness to it. The ugliness has taken on new forms and has morphed into something that is shielded under and by indifference, apathy, and two-faced personalities. It can almost be called a case of "the better to know the devil" because too many times we just don't know who we are facing and where their head is on the above issues. Who can be trusted and who are the mock sympathizers? Not fully referred to as "the enemy" but not actually a friend; thus the phrase "frenemy" can be applied. These are those who straddle the fence and to our faces will agree with the happenings of society as applied to Black Americans, but would they be your tie-breaker in a standoff, or march with you in a protest?


Here's the thing; yes I am thrilled that the violence of the 60's and 70's is behind us. I am equally thrilled that there are no organized protests, no policemen beating us with fire hoses, and clubs. Happy that our children of today can go to school and play with each other...brown and white together. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for ALL of his efforts to promote racial harmony. 


But, even though we have come so very far and conditions and situations have improved drastically, the underlying hatred for Black Americans remains. No matter how well educated or prosperous we become, we still cannot say we have arrived. Yes, I do believe that part of the problems lie with our own, and many of us (especially our Black males ) have become stereotyped. And no, I don't think that the majority of us a proud race of people are whining about anything. Just as it was then, it is the same now...we want to know what's going on? How do we emerge from that mold?


So, I guess maybe this is one of the timeless questions that while it may have an answer, it has no answers. Yea..that's right and it's deep too. A real conundrum. And it may remain so for many years to come. I hope not. While we have made significant progress let us not be satisfied to let that progress rest on its laurels. We want to always be in a mode of continuous improvement so that the next generation that asks the question "what's going on"? will find a satisfactory solution not just an answer.

Sisters Interrupted...The Last Chapter

And so by now (if you have been keeping up with the story), we are in a state of semi-shock over what has been said thus far. There is a whole new side to our friend that we had no idea existed! Far from us to be judgmental, but this was information we were simply not prepared for. Needless to say, we had to top off our drinks, and make them doubles by now. So, the story continues...

Bonnie then said that it didn’t take much cajoling on Waverley’s part to get her to join him.  He probably figured that she was getting back at her sister and frankly it was all the same to him. Whether out of spite or not, or who was using who was totally irrelevant at this point. That they got together was all he wanted. So off they went together, but out of a sense of decency; they retired to Bonnie’s old bedroom.

She spent that night and the rest of the weekend with each other with Waverley as her starter husband, and she caught up in a web of deceit, sinful lust and misplaced spite. But, as she was packing to return to college on Sunday afternoon, it hit her and it hit her hard about what she had done. The acts of betrayal were like a bitter taste in her mouth. She had no misconception about what she had done, she did not question her behavior, and no misplaced blame on her brother-in-law, she accepted her part in the dirty deed. Nevertheless, after it was all over, they avoided each other all Sunday morning. Before she donned her hair-shirt in self-recrimination, she informed him that she was going to tell her sister about what had happened.

Of course he begged her not to, but she was determined to at least get that much off of her conscience. After she had finished packing and made herself a light meal, she sat down in the living room to wait for the family’s arrival. Earlier, Evie had phoned Waverley and let him know they would be home in a couple of hours, so the time was very near...in about twenty minutes or so. He stayed locked way in the room he shared with Evie. When the door opened and her father walked in , Bonnie knew the hour had come.

She hugged and kissed her parents and gave her sister a weak smile but no intimacy passed between them. Amid her Mom’s questions and attempts at conversation, Bonnie asked Evie to come into her room upstairs. Long story short, she broke it down to her about the weekend with her husband, and although she was sorry she had hurt her, she wanted to leave with a clear conscience. Well, Evelyn Yvette wasn’t about to let it go that easily. She hit Bonnie smack dab in the face, and Bonnie hit her back. After that it was punch for punch and lick for lick. A real knockdown drag out cat fight. 

Their parents came up and broke up the fight, sat them down and tried to understand what had caused this. So of course the whole sordid tale was repeated, her Mom was mortified and she cried and nearly passed out, her dad was ready to kill Waverley and Evie vowed never to speak to her again. They shared the same parents, but they were no longer sisters. It had been that way until this day. Bonnie admitted she had made several attempts at reconciliation over the years, but Evie had not responded. 

Yes, she had truly repented of her sins, and God forgave her and after a time she forgave herself. It took a while, but she and her parents had put the past behind them and Evie and Waverley were still married, but she never saw them. Bonnie had paid the price for a brief time of reckless abandon and the cost was extremely high.

She missed her sister. Never would she have believed she would feel this way, especially after the way their relationship was anyway...tolerant but not bonded in sisterhood. After a few moments of silence, we pulled ourselves together and Alexis got us all to hold hands and we got down on our knees and prayed for healing of this awful family rift, and we asked God to restore these sisters to a relationship better than it was before. To give them back what had been lost between them, and then we all had a beautiful tear fest...after all what are friends for?

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Sisters Interrupted...A Confessional (Part Two)

We remained in full rapturous attention mode while Bonnie began her story...or as she opened with; "her confessional". The telling involved her, her older sister Evelyn Yvette ("Evie" for short) and Evie's husband Waverly Knight. When Evie and Waverly began their wedded life together, it was on a shoe string budget, so the new couple lived with the bride's parents. Of course this arrangement was supposed to be temporary just until they could save up enough money for a down payment on a place of their own.

Bonnie is the youngest of three girls, making her seven years Evie's junior, because Evie is the oldest daughter. So, she was at this time a young, beautiful and impressionable nineteen, and a sophomore at college. One particular weekend she came home unexpectedly because she was bored beiong on campus and was a little homesick for her parents. She had called her Mom but when she didn't get an answer she decided to just come on home because she knew her Mom would be thrilled.

Bonnie didn't really care about visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Knight at all. Actually, she didn't really like her sister all that much anyway. Evie had always thought herself entitled as the oldest daughter in a female dominated household. She was practically a bully to poor Dyane (the middle daughter called 'Delicious' for short), but Bonnie didn't take no wooden nickels from her. And as for Waverly; well he was so conceited and vain until it was totally beyond thought how any woman could stand him.

Now at this point in the story, we all paused for additional refreshment and to fill up our snack plates. after we had settled back down, having had potty breaks and all, Bonnie continued. Okay...on this weekend Bonnie arrived home around 3pm on Friday afternoon. She was tired and hungry after her four hour drive from school and she made a beeline for the kitchen and the fridge. She was standing there checking out the leftovers in the fridge when she felt the prescence of someone else in the room. Turning her head towrds the door, she saw her brother-in-law leaning against the door jamb looking her over like she was a piece of meat.

She said hello to him and asked if he shouldn't be out looking for work. To this he replied that he had finished combing the streets for today. When he said this, Bonnie's first thought was "combing the streets for what?' she wondered and let out a chuckle. He made no pretense that he was coming on to her; he came over and backed her up against the sink. He placed his arms on either side of her and said how fortunate he was that she came home because otherwise he would have had to spend the next two days and nights alone.

"Where's everyone at? Where's Mom and Dad?' she asked as she pushed him away and walked over to the table to sit down. He got out a couple of cold beers from the fridge and passed her one and said that they had gone down to see Aunt Maddie for the weekend. Aunt Maddie's son had called and told Bonnie's Mom that she was very very ill and needed to see all of her family. Naturally Evie went with them since she was family, and naturally he didn't since he wasn't.

Now, like she had said earlier, she didn't care for her sister and her high fallutin ways, and it was a stretch to be around Waverly, but something in her (probably her alter-ego) found this situation interesting. She met Waverly's direct gaze and returned his smile as they clink their beer bottles together in a mock salute. What is going on here? Well she would be finding out soon enough...


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Absolutely Fabulous!

We are very blessed to wake up each new day with brand new opportunities and chances to live our lives. With the dawn of each morning, we are presented with a blank canvas and choices to make on how we want to paint that canvas and present it to the world. Some days are more special than others. Some days are absolutely fabulous.

Have you ever awakened from a most restful night’s sleep, one where you entered and stayed a while in the land of REM sleep; a lovely and magical place where we dream and sleep soundly? The most languorous feeling of well being greets us when we open our eyes to the morning after a night of peaceful rest and deep sleep. On mornings like these we can’t help but smile to ourselves and wish we could just throw open our arms and embrace the universe! We just know that this day will be something where anything is possible. This day will be absolutely fabulous!

These days are a rarity and should be bookmarked in our memories favorite folder. There will be days when the clouds are heavy on the horizon, and the winds will blow and bring a chill to our souls. It will rain and leave muddy puddles on the landscape of our spirit, so it will be great to have these warm and fuzzy memories to cheer us.

So after we open our eyes to a new day, and we stretch and smile ourselves awake, we pause for a moment to consider what lies ahead for us today. Maybe its the prospect of an exciting shopping trip, a long awaited luncheon at a favorite place with our best friend, or the anticipation of a date later that evening with the man in our life. 

It doesn’t matter which main event it is that beckons us, its the expectation of the event that gives us that natural high on life. We may feel as if we have a herculean strength about us or that we are invincible at work or up to the challenge of running the next 10k in our city. The endorphins are loose and getting the job done big time!

Everyone gets a smile and a cheery hello from us today. We may leave a bigger tip for our hair stylist, or for the always courteous and efficient waitress at our favorite diner or even more fabulous...have a sing-a-long with a song on the radio while sitting in traffic, and not bat an eyelash when someone (who obviously is not having a fabulous day) rudely pulls out in front of us and slows almost to a crawl, causing us to have to stop short. Never mind! It’s a fabulous day!

Life is unpredictably unpredictable, but that is also a vital part of its charm. By never knowing how it will play out, we are more aware of ourselves and the part we play in our own lives. The whole world is a stage and everybody plays a part. Live your life in a way that reflects your choices and your individuality. Be yourself because you are absolutely fabulous!

Over the Rainbow...

Rainbows are notoriously welcome crowd pleasers.Usually making an appearance right after a rain shower, they are always a welcome and cheerful sight. They are also rare because a rain shower does not guarantee a rainbow will follow, so each time one does appear, it strikes an awesome wonder in us as it stretches and bows its colorful splendor across the sky.

Irish mythology  has it that there is a pot of gold located at the end of a rainbow with a cute and lively Leprechaun guarding it, and only dispensing the gold coins to the most deserving beneficiaries. Many of us as children grew up believing in this tall tale, and two very famous composers wrote a song “Over the Rainbow” in 1939 for the movie “The Wizard of Oz” (Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg) that promised bluebirds could fly so high over the rainbow, and by believing it was possible one human could also.

The real motivation here behind this lovely and timeless song is that if we are willing to believe hard and long and faithfully in what seems impossible, then we can indeed walk across the bridged gap between reality and the stuff dreams are made of. The coming alive of the dream is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

How many of us have stretched our imaginations and dreamed our dreams and rode on the tailwinds of fantasies made entirely realistic by a rainbow? After all the biblical explanation of a rainbow was that God made it and put in the heavens after the flood that destroyed the earth as a sign and a covenant promise from him that the world would never again be destroyed by water (Genesis 9:13-17 KJV).

If we want to make a connection between this and our dreams, we can know that through faith and trust in God we can touch the intangible, see the invisible and believe the impossible. Doesn’t this put a rainbow perspective on things?

My friend and fellow grandmother Claudette Richardson had so many doubts and fears in her life before she looked to the rainbow. When she first started talking about rainbows and how they fit into her life, I must admit I was baffled. I didn’t understand where she was coming from with all of this talk. She obviously was way ahead of me in her belief and value system and what she considered spiritual. After she broke in down to me I was impressed with her steadfastness and her stalwart devotion to the manifestation of miracles and rainbows.

Even though she was physically present here with us, her spirit had already soared “over the rainbow” into a place where she could live in peace, joy and a comfort that can only be received by accepting something supernatural. By supernatural I mean “not able to be done or achieved by man” but only by the wonderfully free and marvelously liberating grace of God! For by living under grace we can truly let go of selfish motives and get off of the merry-go-round of trying to fix our lives and how we react to our circumstances.

Claudette has been an inspiration to her friends and a shining example of what a Christian woman should be. This sis something we all need; a person we can look to as a port in a storm. God gives us these special people in our lives…sometimes for just a season and at other times if we are so blessed…for a lifetime. We will always have our faults and we always fall short of the glory, but with an anchor cast upon a rainbow…we will never go too far adrift in this sea we call LIFE.

This is a Man's World... Stanford's Story

But it wouldn't be nothing...nothing without a woman or a girl. Men have assumed the aggressive role in the male-female relationship since the beginning of time. But it takes a special man who is not afraid to follow his heart and to set his mind on giving the heart what it wants. He must be the sort of man who doesn't give up easily and who doesn't play mind games, and is dedicated to the pursuit of excellence.

One particular example comes to mind with the cave man and his macho possessiveness toward his woman. A cave man would use brute strength to pick her up and toss her over his shoulder and literally carry her away to his own cave dwelling. Now I say that here was a man who knew what he wanted and wasn't shy about going to get it. Not to say that I agree with any man using brute strength for any reason with a woman, but admittedly there is some appeal to the prospect of a man taking on a proactive part in going after and getting his woman. And this can be especially appealing when the man is someone who was tripping your trigger anyway and someone you can imagine a future with. Not so wonderful if the man whose pursuing you is a first class nut job.


Stanford Clayton had had plenty of time to consider the results of his violent actions toward his wife. He had spent time in jail while waiting for his bail to be arranged, and after his release he went home to an empty house, knowing that his wife was still confined to the hospital bed mending from the wounds he had inflicted on her. His children had become estranged because of the drama and the tragedy that had exploded within the family. His employees were reserved (to say the least) in their attitudes toward him and even his own parents had become almost alienated from him.  He could half-way deal with all of this, but the only forgiveness he wanted was from his wife. He had forgiven Helena for her affair, but he had yet to forgive himself for the awful things he had done.

He wandered about the huge house all day in sadness and recrimination. He slept most of the mornings away since sleep eluded him at night; most nights it was two-three in the mornings when he would finally fall into a fitful sleep that was haunted by the images of Helena bruised and battered and sobbing and screaming. When he wasn't having what passed for sleep and he was awake he was plagued by images of her and Griffin McCoy...her wrapped in his arms and his hands all over her.

Several times Stanford had become physically ill because he could not shut down his thoughts and his mind had become a battlefield of dark and sickening places that even the daylight hours could hardly chase away. He absolutely had to do something to turn all of this around. But, he was forbidden by law to visit the hospital. He could not call her. He had managed to get his daughter to listen to him for five minutes during which he begged her to please tell Helena how sorry he was and to please forgive him. She had reluctantly agreed to pass along his message, but she did not come back to him with a reply.

He still loved his wife with all that he had. He did not want to lose her, and he wanted desperately to get their old life back. He was more than willing to put his heart and his soul into rebuilding their marriage and reclaiming their love, for he was convinced that with time Helena would admit that she was still in love with him too. He knew that she must have truly felt something for Griffin because he knew his wife's character and she would not have jeopardized her perfect lifestyle for just a few physical encounters. What was the hardest for him to admit to himself was that he had played a major role in her infidelity. He had dropped the ball somewhere along the way, and although he could not excuse her affair, he could understand her reasons for having it.

Stanford vowed to re engineer himself into a better husband if...no; when she came home and they could begin to put back together the broken pieces of the life they shared. As fragile as their bond was now, he would hold onto hope because hope was all he had right now. Never having been a spiritual man, he had just recently discovered that what he truly needed in his life was God; a serious and real relationship with God. It was the one and only way he could fully recover from his own darkness and help his wife out of hers so they could mend their relationship was to let in the light of God's love and forgiveness.

Yes, Stanford was a man on a mission and the sooner he could begin that mission the better. And what better way to start than on his knees.


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Snapshots and Memories

How many of us are still holding on to old photographs of past loves and mementoes from old love affairs and relationships? Probably more of us than we want to admit. I used to have a collection that I kept in a shoebox and a couple of small photo albums with photos of me and an old boyfriend that were at least twenty years old. Why was I holding on to these pictures? Really…as for the small albums with this particular person in them with me I just didn’t know why. I mean, it’s not like we parted on good terms or anything, and there was nothing I could think of that was even remotely pleasant to think about or long for. Finally I did trash them but the real reason why I did will be revealed in the next few paragraphs.

The gentleman that I was involved with next was the one in the shoe box photographs. We had a long term relationship that was extremely exciting for its duration, pleasant to recall, and ended on friendly terms. It took a little longer to rid myself of the shoebox than it did the albums. And by the time we both realized that our time together had run its course, the memories of the things we did together and the fun we had shared had diminished to a fuzzy mist on the horizon of my mind.

The true reason I had tossed the albums was because I had started going through a major change in my life and my lifestyle. I had wanted to become a better person and I desired a deeper spiritual walk with God. I knew that in order to walk upright in his sight I had to be willing to let go of the carnality in my life, and I had to remove all of the reminders of that carnal life. Hence the significance of throwing out the photographs was a symbol of the throwing out of the attachments to my old self.

The soul searching cleansing of the relationship with the shoebox gentleman was a bit more extreme and it took a little longer to complete. Like it took about five years to finish letting go of all the pictures I had accumulated along with some of the gifts. The very first revelation that I had about changing my lifestyle came about four years before I started separating from him physically and mentally. I remember being inspired to give away the stuff he had bought for me over time and when I made up my mind to get rid of it I started out pretty big. My grand gesture of self-discovery and re-engineering began with the give away of a beautiful full length lambskin leather coat. I figured that the bigger the sacrifice the bigger the reward.

Now this was years before I discovered that there are no good works I could ever do to gain a heavenly reward. God does not hand out “great job” or “good work” certificates and stickers for what we call doing good things. We cannot earn his love or his favor…it is freely given through salvation and the redemptive powers of his grace. So, I could have kept the coat and all of the others things I subsequently got rid of and had I known the value of a true relationship with God it wouldn’t have mattered.

Nevertheless, it’s all over now. All of the snapshots are gone and all of the memories have faded into once in a while recollections. Mostly I just think about how different I am now from then and how those experiences taught me valuable life lessons, and that’s what I think about when and if I allow myself to recall any of those years in those relationships.

Growing up can happen at any age and it’s not merely for the progressive ages from birth to adulthood. Life recycles itself and we are constantly learning, reaching and growing and never get too old to benefit from the recycling. As long as I remain in motion and not become stagnant, look forward and not backwards (except for retrospect) and focus on being in the present with a hope for the future I will gain more than we ever lost from the tossing away of old snapshots.