The Invisible Woman

The invisible woman. Perhaps you have seen her. She is the middle-aged mature woman that shops at her neighborhood supermarket, worships in church on Sundays, browses through a local branch of the library and buys her clothes at several big name department stores. She comes and goes from her home to work, visiting friends and waves at her neighbors. Sometimes she gets the chance to spend quality time with her close family.

Her clothes are well-chosen and smart. Her appearance and grooming is always immaculate and stylish. Intelligent conversation and a quick wit spice up her personality. This woman is no slacker. She's always had an excellent work ethic and lives up to the highest of moral and ethical standards.

Well...here is a woman that should command a very high visibility judging from the descriptive paragraphs above. One would automatically assume that this particular woman would lead a busy social life and be a hip member of her in-crowd. Let me tell you that the case involved here is totally the oppposite.

For all intents and purposes, this woman may as well be invisible. All of the previously mentioned accolades and observations are true and accurate. But, in spite of all of the above, she is invisible to the opposite sex. That's right; men. 

Some men that she encounters on a purely everyday situation such as in a supermarket, at the gas pump, in line at Starbucks, or in the waiting room of the mechanic while the oil is being changed in her car...will either avoid eye contact completely; or ignore her attempts at a simple smile and a friendly invitation to conversation.

She may be smiling just for the pure fun of it; because the weather is beautiful...or she feels special that day. She might want to strike up a conversation to pass the time. It's not an impossibility that she may be a people person and find it fun getting to know others. Every routine effort to be friendly is not...I repeat not an invitation to something else!

But...these days if any of the aforementioned scenarios take place, most men have either mumbled a few unintelligible words and made a hasty exit in the opposite direction, or ...(and this is one of her favorites) managed to bring up the fact that he is married in the second sentence of the conversation! Here's a for instance. She was outside her favorite supermarket one fine summer morning browsing and admiring the new array of bedding plants. There was a man nearby doing the same thing. He mentioned the marigolds to her first; noting how healthy and beautiful they were.

She agreed cheerfully (but not overly so...merely cordial) and threw in that she really liked the growth rate and the hardiness of marigolds. The next sentence out of his mouth was how his wife planted them every year. Where did that come from? Was she standing next to him? No. Was she waiting in the car watching his every move? No. He wanted to make it clear that he was off limits just in the off chance that she would come onto him.

Isn't that just sad...just pure pathetic? A woman cannot utter a complete sentence before a man thinks she's flirting! And please don't allow your eyes to wander in the direction of a man doing his own shopping. If you get too close to him, he'll bolt like a scared baby rabbit.

And her all time favorite is the conversation that a man will hold with who knows who to avoid the look or the slightest possibility that she may speak to him while standing in line anywhere. Suddenly, it is imperative that he makes a phone call that ends just as suddenly the moment he gets to the cashier to place his order! Then, he feels safe enough to tuck away his phone...place his order and busy himself with payment, etc. so he can make his escape as quick as possible.

What was once a perplexing enigma has now become a source of amusement for our sophisticated and savvy woman. She enjoys making a man feel uncomfortable in these situations, and feels that if he is unable to hold his own and not feel threatened by a person of her caliber, then that's his problem! No sweat off her nose. She smiles and laughs anyway and finds a great source of amusement in his dilemma.

So, our girl is slowly accepting of the fact that good, strong, confident men are a scarcity; especially in her age group. She is happy being who she is, living a good life and being her own person even if that life is independent of a special male relationship. Until he comes along (and he WILL come along one day) she is content in her own skin. Smiling, and taking care of business one day at a time and appreciating each and every one of the days she is blessed to live in.

Life...is good.

The Stage is Set in Kingston...Part Two

The first official day of vacation had gotten off to a great start. The ladies had all slept to a moderately late hour, and breakfasted together in the parlor room of their suite. They had dined sufficiently on a meal consisting of vegetable and egg quiche, crisp bacon, hot buttery croissants served with apricot preserves, freshly squeezed orange juice and some of the most delicious coffee they had ever drank. Feeling extremely full and satisfied, they lounged around for a while just mulling over the events of their trip so far.

Claudette had planned out a wonderful travel itinerary for them which she now distributed in hard copy to each of them. Of course they had discussed in general what they would be doing, but now that they were here, it was time to take a look at the schedule. Future outings were planned for The Bob Marley Museum, Hope Botanical Gardens and The National Gallery of Jamaica. First item for today was shopping in the marketplace, followed by afternoon tea, and then back to the house for massages and facials. That would definitely relax them and put them in the mood for what lay ahead later that night. They would be having dinner at a landmark restaurant, hosted by a friend of Alexis who lived in Kingston, and then on to dance the night away at a trendy club called “Santana's”.

Keenan DeJohn was a tall, distinguished and articulate gentleman who looked to be of indeterminate age ( but she guessed him to be in his middle to late sixties) whom Alexis had met several years before on her first trip to Kingston. At that time she had been traveling with another friend and a male companion. She had been introduced to Keenan, and they had kept up a friendly communication via email several times a year, but it was enough to maintain an acquaintance close enough that he had come to see her on his last visit to the states two years ago. His open invitation to be his guest at his elegant eatery when she and her friends came down had been sincere and so had his insistence that he comp their meals.

He was seating them as a private party in his secluded VIP room located off from the main dining room. He would join them for before dinner drinks and then leave them to their dinner. To finish off the evening he had arranged a personal escort to take them to Santana's club, and to see that they had every comfort they needed and that everything he did for them was top shelf. It was no secret; he had designs on Alexis. She was aware of it, and he wanted to do everything possible to make sure she and her friends had a fantastic vacation.

And so the day passed in luxurious splendor for the four friends. They laughed, sipped on exotic tasting drinks, and reveled in the beauty of their surroundings, and in the simplicity of being in the company of each other. It wouldn't be normal if they didn't take a few moments to reflect on their lives for just a few moments. And in doing so, they agreed that in the mainstream of life, they had it pretty darn good. They were blessed and blessed indeed.

The time came for them to dress for the evening. It was such a happy time to be getting all dressed up in gorgeous dresses, wearing beautiful summer heels, smelling divine and looking absolutely fabulous!Alexis had spoken to Keenan earlier and he had told her to give their driver Delray Major the night off because he was sending his own driver over to pick them up at seven to deliver them to his restaurant. Later on after closing, he would drive to meet them at the club.

It was exactly six fifty-seven when the doorbell rang. Bonnie went to answer and she met the man who was to be their escort for the night. He bowed low to her as he spoke with a perfect accent” Good evening madame! I am Dante, driver for Mr. DeJohn at your service for the evening. Are you and your friends ready?” Just then, Helena, Claudette and Alexis gathered at the door. More introductions were made, the destination confirmed and off they went into the warm and sultry evening. The air was thick and laden with the perfume of the variety of orchids and lilies that bloomed in the gardens.

They all experienced a heightened sense of well being and felt as if they did indeed have the world in the palm of their hands. There was absolutely no way they could know that this would be a night to remember, but not for the usual reasons. There was no way they could know that trouble waited for them around the corner.

What Happens in Kingston Stays in Kingston (Part One)

The flight from Charlotte was smooth and quite pleasant, and the short layover they had in Atlanta didn't faze them one bit. Of course, having first class seats and sipping champagne all the way was an added comfort bonus. Nothing but top shelf for these ladies! When they landed at Norman Manley Airport, there was a luxury town car waiting for them, complete with a liveried driver holding up a sign that read "The Diva Ladies from America". Now who else could that be but them?

Clearing customs had been a breeze , and they proceeded to baggage claim to get hold of the mountain of luggage that belonged to them. As they stood waiting at the carousel for their stuff to come around, they chatted about what they would do first with the remainder of the evening. They kept time to the rhythm of the island music as they patiently waited. The music was lively and the mix of the other instruments coming together in perfect harmony just increased their sense of well-being and excitement.

Finally they began to see some pieces that belonged to them appear on the carousel. Alexis reached for her two pieces of matching Ralph Lauren, while Claudette could see hers and Helena's coming up next. Bonnie helped Claudette and Helena pull their five pieces of Channel off the belt, a porter approached them and asked if they required assistance in loading their bags. Since he was standing there with a huge luggage rack, there was no point in turning down his help. He went ahead and started to pile on the stuff handling the designer luggage with care.  And just as they were starting to get a little concerned about Bonnie's bags, they rolled out of the opening on the belt.


The porter reached for them as Bonnie began to, thus softly colliding with her and touching her hand. Bonnie was a little startled as she looked up at him. She was momentarily nonplussed and she could have sworn that she felt a spark when their hands touched. The look he gave her lasted only a second, but that second in time spoke volumes. She did not mistake the smolder she saw there or the barest of smiles he gave her as he straightened from picking up the luggage. Hmm, she just might have the beginnings of an island romance going on here! She had to admit that it was a thrilling thought to consider; getting close to an ebony eyed brown skinned brother and being carefree for a little while.

The ladies had discussed this very possibility days ago. They knew it was a possibility that they might meet someone. Being women of a certain age did not stop them from having normal desires and romantic thoughts. But they were smart and sophisticated enough to establish boundaries and keep themselves safe and protected at all times.

They climbed inside of the town car, luxuriating in the dim coolness of the interior where once again they were listening to island music. The driver introduced himself to them as Delray Major, and that he would be at their complete disposal the entire time they were here. He was absolutely adorable in his uniform and with his smooth old world charm. His accent was beautiful, and the ladies all agreed that he was such a lovely man...probably in his early to mid sixties  and well-groomed. In unison, they thanked him and confirmed the address of their house and then they were on their way!


In between shared laughter, some pretty raunchy jokes, and dancing in their seats, the ladies took in the passing scenery. Helena made a special toast to Claudette for planning the perfect vacation, and for the attention to detail she had given to everything. It had been agreed that they would unpack, have a refreshing shower and then dine at a nearby native restaurant that provided their guests with a late seating dinner. Bonnie had said she'd want to take a brief nap, so it was decided that naps would indeed be welcomed by everyone. No use trying to enjoy the evening with tired eyes and stiff joints, so the order of the evening had been established; unpacking, naps, showers and then...let the good times roll!

Close Encounters of the Veggie Kind...

Ladies have you ever wondered what was going on in a man’s head when you smiled at him? Let me expand on that question with an actual experience I had. Recently, I was in the supermarket doing my shopping and there happened to be a gentleman in the vicinity of the produce section; fresh fruits to be exact. I noticed him from my extra sharp peripheral vision and slowly pick up and inspect a few ripe melons. He’s still pondering over the fresh herbs and I moved slightly to a more advantageous post and I could see he’s selected fresh cilantro. My amateur chef radar alerts me that he’s probably a pretty good cook if he wants to use fresh ingredients and at the moment I think this, he moves over and picks up a few leeks, and fennel.

Bingo! The first instinct was spot on! A guy who appears to know something about cooking. Very impressive. So, I walk away from the melons and amble up beside him (allowing a personal space of a couple of feet) and begin to select some celery and as you reach for a produce bag to gather up a few bunches of scallion and get a look at the third finger left hand and there is no ring. O-kay.  Nice clean well manicured hands, and …wait a minute…do I detect a subtle familiar fragrance around this man? Why yes…I inconspicuously sniff a little lady like “sniff” and I am sure of it. Burberry for Men and it’s one of my favorites colognes to smell on a man.

Alright now…here I go. I’m going to give him an innocent little smile that says "hello, I'm friendly" just to see how he reacts. Oh, have I mentioned how fabulous I looked that day? I had just left the day spa where I had treated myself to the works; facial, hair and eyebrows, mani/pedi. I was wearing a cute Capri set with matching shrug sweater,and open toe shoes to show off my pedi. And I smelt good too. So, I continue to look around a bit until I can catch his eye without having to stare him down thus having him think I'm some kinda grocery store stalker nut. I wish could say that he and I both reached for the same bag of onions at the same time and experienced a moment complete with angelic music from heaven and a star-burst from making eye contact. That definitely did not happen!

What did happen was dude gave me a cursory look with a brief nod and walked away toting his fennel and his leeks and his whatever. You know I really wanted to follow him, swagger up to him and get all up in his face with attitude and say "In case you didn't notice, but your leeks look wilted and are probably not fresh! Humph!" and then strut away giving him my back before he could think of anything to say. That definitely did not happen either!

What did happen was I shrugged it off, mumbled something to myself about him probably being a jerk anyway, put my basket down and left the store. I headed for Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice latte and by the time I had bought my coffee, added a lemon-almond biscotti to my order I had put dude out of my mind. Maybe another time and another place; it's all good, right?

So I know that you ladies have had similar experiences, perhaps in a laundromat, fast food restaurant, church or at your grand-kids school. Whether or not we made a contact let us be assured that this old reliable tried and true expression can apply to the situation: It's not us...it's them!!

Have a great weekend out there with family and friends, worship at a church of your choosing, and be blessed. We will return on Monday... and we gonna talk some more about Helena and her secret!!

Rock on!!