Monday, June 3, 2013

If Wanting Him is Wrong...(I Don't Want to be Right)

The event planning business that Alexis had struggled so diligently to build was recuperating quite nicely from the sudden tailspin it went in a few months ago. All of the publicity that was circulating in the atmosphere concerning socialite Abigail Vanderberry and the accusation and subsequent arrest of the young bride-to-be impacted Alexis's business in both a negative and a positive way. Alexis herself had reeled from the shock of being a witness for the prosecution against Abigail, and she had to actually close up shop for a few days until she could regain her bearings. After all, it isn't everyday that a person gets a call from one of her clients just hours before the nuptials confessing that she had just killed her groom.

After Alexis had recovered sufficiently to re-open the doors to her business, she discovered much to her delight, that her brief notoriety had made others seek her out. Her best friend Bonnie had laughingly told her that it was nothing like free publicity! Bonnie had also become her 'unofficial' assistant. Callie (aka 'Delicious Diva') Bennett had been hired when Alexis opened the shop, and she had proven to be invaluable the entire time; even during the shop's temporary shut down. She was an enthusiastic, smart and very capable young woman.

Callie reminded Alexis of herself when she was that age. Fresh-faced, eager to learn, eager to work and determined to succeed. But recently with the influx of new clients, Alexis and her business manager had taken a second look, and decided it was a smart move to bring in another associate. Bonnie volunteered and Alexis accepted her friend's gracious offer.

That was not all of the recent happenings where Alexis was concerned. A few weeks ago, she had received a Facebook friend request an a chat message from an old co-worker. It had been ages since they had worked together, and frankly she was surprised he even remembered her, when she got the friend request.  So when he started the chat sessions with her, they were nothing out of the ordinary in the beginning.

Then he became bolder and bolder as the sessions increased. He didn't miss a chance for contacting her whenever they happened to be online at the same time. After the first week , he asked for her phone number so that they could leave Facebook and begin texting each other. She agreed and the madness began.

His aggressiveness was both flattering and somewhat intimidating at the same time. His language was more than colorful when he described the things he wanted to do her. He also went into explicit detail about what he wanted from her as well.

His questions about her sex life were relentless, and then he started asking her to send photos of herself. All of this was coming from a married man who was at home at night with his wife in the same house. Alexis had to finally admit to herself that she was starting to get more than a little turned on. She was considering his proposal that they hook up. With each text conversation,she was being pulled further and further into this web of sexual desire and she felt herself sinking into a place where she'd swore never to return.

It had taken her years to climb out of that rat hole her past actions had put her in,and she had taken a personal vow not to ever fall into that pit again. The pure hell of living with regret, self recriminations and guilt had taken a huge toll on her in the past. When she got free...she cut all ties to that life.

Now here was this man who had awakened a dormant passion in her; a desire to be fulfilled as a woman again. She was seriously considering his invitation to join him in a sexual relationship. He had stated to her after they'd been communicating for about a month (nearly every single night for a couple of hours each) that he 'could not afford to get involved in an ongoing affair, but he definitely wanted to establish a purely physical hook up every now and then) and knowing this going in she was  still thinking about doing it.

How pathetic was she? Had the longing to be close to a man and be consumed by him taken over her rational thought?  What was she thinking; rather not thinking about? These and more questions plagued her yet they did not completely dissuade her from the idea. Rationale and conscience had not yet assuaged her. The score was now skewed in favor of satisfaction and she knew she was in over her head.

She had been alone for so very long! Her last relationship with Frank had not ended well and had left her brokenhearted and jaded. Oh sure...she had dated a few men since during the past two years, but never seriously and never had any of them gotten her so turned on. This new man (her very own Mr.X) was inside her head and was taking up all of the space previously used for common sense thinking and actions.

She wanted to be held. She wanted to be caressed and loved and share that intimacy with a man again. It had been too long, and she wanted it badly. And she wanted this man. She wanted him to take her and to possess her and make her his for whatever time they had together.

What was she to do? And was she truly prepared to pay the full price, counting the cost of this desire? When she paid, there would be no refunds and no turning back. It would have to be all...or nothing.

1 comment:

elle said...

Bottom line is... Will it be worth?