If Wanting Him is Wrong...(I Don't Want to be Right)

The event planning business that Alexis had struggled so diligently to build was recuperating quite nicely from the sudden tailspin it went in a few months ago. All of the publicity that was circulating in the atmosphere concerning socialite Debra Kay Charmaine, and the accusation and subsequent arrest of the young bride-to-be impacted Alexis's business in both a negative and a positive way. Alexis herself had reeled from the shock of being a witness for the prosecution against Debra Kay, and she had to actually close up shop for a few days until she could regain her bearings. After all, it isn't everyday that a person gets a call from one of her clients just hours before the nuptials confessing that she had just killed her groom.

After Alexis had recovered sufficiently to re-open the doors to her business, she discovered much to her delight, that her brief notoriety had made others seek her out. Her best friend Bonnie had laughingly told her that it was nothing like free publicity! One of her longtime friends Cassidy Willoughby had also become her 'unofficial' assistant. Callie (aka 'Delicious Diva') Bennett had been hired when Alexis opened the shop, and she had proven to be invaluable the entire time; even during the shop's temporary shut down. She was an enthusiastic, smart and very capable young woman.

Callie reminded Alexis of herself when she was that age. Fresh-faced, eager to learn, eager to work and determined to succeed. But recently with the influx of new clients, Alexis and her business manager had taken a second look, and decided it was a smart move to bring in another associate. Cassidy had found herself with a lot of "empty nest " time on her hands, so she volunteered and Alexis accepted her friend's gracious offer. Besides with a daughter in her freshman year of college, the extra money she'd be making would come in handy.

That was not all of the recent happenings where Alexis was concerned. A few weeks ago, she had received a Facebook friend request an a chat message from an old co-worker. It had been ages since they had worked together, and frankly she was surprised he even remembered her, when she got the friend request.  So when he started the chat sessions with her, they were nothing out of the ordinary in the beginning.

Then he became bolder and bolder as the sessions increased. He didn't miss a chance for contacting her whenever they happened to be online at the same time. After the first week , he asked for her phone number so that they could leave Facebook and begin texting each other. She agreed and the madness began.

His aggressiveness was both flattering and somewhat intimidating at the same time. His language was more than colorful when he described the things he wanted to do her. He also went into explicit detail about what he wanted from her as well. She couldn't be sure if he was really excited about her, or if he was simply a freak. Either way, she could not muster up the slightest bit of enthusiasm when it came to him, but she decided that she would play along just for fun. Little did she know that very soon the tables would turn on her!

His questions about her sex life were relentless, and then he started asking her to send photos of herself. All of this was coming from a married man who was at home at night with his wife in the same house. Alexis had to finally admit to herself that she was starting to get more than a little turned on. She was considering his proposal that they hook up. With each text conversation,she was being pulled further and further into this web of sexual desire and she felt herself sinking into a place where she'd swore never to return.

It had taken her years to climb out of that rat hole her past actions had put her in,and she had taken a personal vow not to ever fall into that pit again. The pure hell of living with regret, self recriminations and guilt had taken a huge toll on her in the past. When she got free...she cut all ties to that life.

Now here was this man who had awakened a dormant passion in her; a desire to be fulfilled as a woman again. She was seriously considering his invitation to join him in a sexual relationship. He had stated to her after they'd been communicating for about a month (nearly every single night for a couple of hours each) that he 'could not afford to get involved in an ongoing affair, but he definitely wanted to establish a purely physical hook up every now and then) and knowing this going in she was  still thinking about doing it.

How pathetic was she? Had the longing to be close to a man and be consumed by him taken over her rational thought?  What was she thinking; rather not thinking about? These and more questions plagued her yet they did not completely dissuade her from the idea. Rationale and conscience had not yet assuaged her. The score was now skewed in favor of satisfaction and she knew she was in over her head.

She had been alone for so very long! Her last relationship with Frank had not ended well and had left her brokenhearted and jaded. Oh sure...she had dated a few men since during the past two years, but never seriously and never had any of them gotten her so turned on. This new man (her very own Mr.X) was inside her head and was taking up all of the space previously used for common sense thinking and actions.

She wanted to be held. She wanted to be caressed and loved and share that intimacy with a man again. It had been too long, and she wanted it badly. And she wanted this man. She wanted him to take her and to possess her and make her his for whatever time they had together.

What was she to do? And was she truly prepared to pay the full price, counting the cost of this desire? When she paid, there would be no refunds and no turning back. It would have to be all...or nothing.

Sin and Redemption

When the music has stopped playing, when daylight has replaced the night, when silence is all that can be heard and when there's no place left to hide...what remains is glaring reality.  Revenge and its reverberating after shocks has been celebrated realized. The strange effects of a well-played and falsely gratifying act of betrayal has turned into a hollow victory that has left a sour taste and an empty feeling where the rhythm of a normal beating heart once was. Her world had shrunk down to the dimensions of her master suite from which she had left only a few times to make quick trips to the kitchen for coffee, and to answer the door to accept the pizza deliveries.

Claudette was completely alienated from her friends. What did she expect after all that she had done? But, you see therein lies the caveat. She didn't expect anything from them.  She knew that her actions would alienate her from the women who had been her friends for twenty five years. At least one of them had probably been her true friend. There were others in Claudette's world who had been more than happy to report back to her about the overheard conversations, and snide remarks whispered behind closed doors that they had covertly been privy to. These fair weather friends had gleefully attached themselves to her and behaved as if they were doing her a favor by bringing her information. She truly regretted having to distance herself from Bonnie though, but there was no help for it. Her friendship with Bonnie ended up as collateral damage.

As far as Alexis was concerned, she was fully aware that they only tolerated each other for the sake of appearances, and although Claudette didn't exactly dislike Alexis, there was definitely no love lost between them either. and she fully realized that by sleeping with Stanford Jr., she had crossed all lines and had broken so many trusts that now as she resided in her own private hell, all shreds of self respect and common decency had disappeared.

It had been a full week since the last part of the destructive plan had been played out. She had been sure that her absence wouldn't take long to detect when she had slipped away from Bonnie's house. To make things seem normal and not to arouse suspicion too early, she had followed the crowd down to the garden where the main party event was being held, carefully being nonchalant and chatty as they strolled across the lavish lawn where so many people were mingling, eating and drinking gaily. No one had an inkling of what was to come.

Honor's arrival with Goddess and her sidekick was precisely timed. Claudette had stood behind Alexis and watched the planned scene unfold until the predetermined moment arrived for her to slip away unnoticed was when Helena had everyone's attention and was acting out her part just as if she was on a Broadway stage that Claudette silently turned and walked away; weaving through the crowd that had gathered to watch the drama.

She had gone straight to her home, and gone underground. Fortunately for her, La Monica (her youngest daughter) was to be away for two weeks, making it easy for Claudette to seclude herself without having to make any conversation or explanations for the recent tragedy of events. Now that the week was coming to a close, she'd had an excess of time to gloat, to pat herself on the back, to try and reassure herself that what she did was justifiable, and now that she had run the gamut of celbratory self denial, other feelings were creeping in her subconscious.

These feelings were jockeying for first place in her mind. They wanted to be prominent and upstage the previous feelings she'd managed to enjoy for a few days. The fact that she'd feel victorious and jubilant when Helena finally got what was coming to her was the only thing that spurred her on to see this malevolent plot through to the finish. In her twisted mind, Helena had become the enemy that must be dealt with, in the most harshest way possible.

Well, it had worked out precisely the way she and Honor had visualized and planned for. The look of absolute shock followed immediately by a look of so much hurt and disbelief that had shown on Helena's face was tragic. Claudette had felt exulted when she first watched these emotions play across her former friend's face. That same exultation had sustained her for three days. But when she woke up this morning from a night filled with bad dreams and plagued with horrible images of Satan and hell fire, she began to feel regret and remorse. She realized with a heavy thudding of her heart that she would no longer be able to keep these self-recriminations at bay. They were about to surface  in a thundering second act.

Everywhere she looked she saw shapeless images that played a stealthy game with her; advancing and retreating. She had begun to hear noises and strange sounds. She had begun to be wary of the shadows in the corner of her room, where she saw the accusatory faces of her friends. She could still smell the cloying odor of the sex she'd had with Helena's son. She saw his unsuspecting face when she looked in the mirror.

Redemption. Is that what she needed? Would she ever find it? Did she deserve it? So many questions; she felt as if her brain would explode. Collateral damage, sinner, whore, slut, sin...the awful stench of what she had done was overpowering her. What would she do and where could she turn?

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

 

It was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful and lavish Christening parties ever given when the guest of honor is just shy of being six months old. Bonnie had spared no expense to create a memorable and enjoyable event that marked the very first milestone of her newest grand baby's life. Little Miss Sterling Mackenzie Devine had no clue about what was going on around her, but she was the center of attention. Dressed all in white from the frilly lace and satin bonnet she wore on her curly head, and the long white silk organza Christening gown to the tiny white satin ballet shoes on her feet, she was a chubby bundle of beauty and truly she was her Nana's Princess.

Alexis, Helena and Claudette were among the elite gathering of guests.  They mingled in with family members because Bonnie considered them as such.  And of course the invitations had been extended in a wide circle encompassing as many of the extended family members as was feasible. Intimately, the family members present were of course; the Devine parents (Kaycee and ) The Devine grandparents ( Bernadette and Alfred) and we can't leave out the Big Sister Jillian Marie Deacon (who was taking her new role as big sister quite seriously), the proud Pop-Pop Alexander Shipp (Kaycee's Dad and Bonnie's first ex-husband), Bennett Lowery, Jr. (Kaycee's half brother by Bonnie's second husband) along with his wife and kids...and of course the hostess with the mostest...Bonnie.

Her back yard had been decorated with two huge white tents, and the gardener had placed mammoth sized tubs filled to overflowing with assorted spring flowers with blooms as big as a woman's hand. There were tubs filled with petunias, bluebells, geraniums and hybrid impatiens. These provided the perfect touch to the gorgeous hibiscus and azaleas that already adorned the landscape. It was a veritable explosion of color!

One tent held two long serving tables covered in white linen cloths, laden with food on one and china and place settings on the other. The guests filed through the buffet line here and then took their filled plates to the second tent where there were about twenty round tables set up, each one covered in a while linen cloth with linen napkins in the alternating colors of the theme chosen by Bonnie. Several uniformed waiters cruised through with various cold beverages for the guests ranging from champagne to iced tea and lemonade.Soft jazz and easy listening music piped through the outdoor speakers connected to the house's surround sound. It had been a lovely service and it was now a perfect afternoon. Until.

An uninvited and unexpected group of four loud-talking women made an appearance. They rounded the corner of the immaculately groomed yard from the driveway side, and from the entrance they made, it was obvious they'd already been dipping in the sauce quite a bit.  They were talking and laughing so loud it was attracting the attention of the guests. Suddenly there was a crash followed by several voices raised in anger. Bonnie paused in her circulation among her guests, and went to investigate to see what the commotion was all about.

She followed the raised voices into the first tent, and when she entered she immediately came up short at what she saw. She recognized two of the women. One of them was Honor McCoy (and if ever there was a misnomer it was in her name), and the other was Goddess Blessing. Bonnie assumed that the women standing close to Goddess were part of the entourage she seemed to constantly have with her.

Goddess Blessing was standing there in front of the portable bubbling fountain and her thin white gauzy dress was soaked through. What was more shocking to see was that it clung to her body, outlining it to clearly show she wore no bra and no panties. Her breasts were showing through the bodice of her wet dress, and the shadow of her vagina could easily be seen as the wet material stuck to her lower body.  The scarf she wore was wrapped around her waist like a sash. Bonnie gasped and walked over to where the troublesome intruders stood. Honor made to apologize for her friend, but it was all too clear that she was merely being facetious, and totally insincere. Goddess said nothing but continued to stand there in a provocative pose while the other two women giggled like silly schoolgirls. Bonnie's first thought was that they were all high on something; including Honor.

Then, Bonnie asked them what happened in a voice so tight, she thought her jaw would break. Goddess laughingly gave the account that she had leaned over the fountain to dip her scarf in the water in hopes of removing a tiny wine spot when she lost her balance and tumbled in. Her untimely dip into the fountain had surprised one of the waiters as he was passing by, and he dropped his tray of drinks. This had a domino effect on the waitress who was coming up behind him with her own tray of drinks and subsequently dropped hers. That caused the loud crash.

Bonnie's ex-husband Bennett Lowery Sr., walked in at that moment along with Alexis, Helena and Claudette. They were followed by a small group of onlookers. Bennett proceeded to remind them that none of them were on the guest list and that this was a private party. He asked them politely to leave the premises immediately so he did not have to call the police and have them force-ably removed. Honor sauntered up to Bennett, pretended to adjust his tie and said in a slow and sultry voice that they had a special package for a special friend and they would leave when they had delivered the special package to the special friend. Each time she said the word special, she leaned in closer to Bennett, and flicked imaginary pieces of lint from his shoulders and his sleeves. Bonnie stood by looking as if she'd burst into tears at any moment.

Bennett grabbed her by her arms and shoved her away from him, warning her to take her friends and go...right now. Honor stood back and drew herself up to her full height, assuming an air of superiority and pointedly looked at Helena saying that they'd come to see her and would be happy to leave as soon as their business was completed. No one noticed Claudette slipping away from the crowd. They were mesmerized by the goings on before them. Honor snapped her fingers without taking her eyes from Helena, and one of the women with them stepped forward with a small gift wrapped box.

She placed the box in Honor's outstretched hand.

Down the Rabbit Hole

"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about; and that is not being talked about"...Oscar Wilde

The sex had been fabulous and she was certain that both of them had experienced the ecstasy in equal shares. What had began as a calculated seduction had definitely ended up as an out- of- bounds sexual adventure where they had loosed all inhibitions and given themselves over to a night that saw its finale in the outrageous.

There had been no misconceptions of love or any other tender emotions. He was the dispenser and she was the receiver. At one point during the night their roles had reversed. She had pleasured him every bit as much as he did her, and each of them gave until there was nothing left. It had come to her as a wild and disconnected thought; but she remembered thinking how glad she was that she maintained her fit body by working out three times a week at her gym. While she had been aiming for a healthy long life span, she had no idea she would reap the other rewards that a fit and lithe body could provide. Although she was tired, her muscles did not ache and she was not sore from the rigorous sex. Truth was, she could have enjoyed a morning romp, but she did not want to wake Stanford and get him started all over again and the timing was not right.

There were two more remaining parts to her plan that had to be carried out. And she must keep moving and get them taken care of immediately...before she had time to think about what she had done and who she was doing it to. Of course Helena was her prime target, and initially; the thought of using her son to complete that revenge had been daunting but doable. Especially when she considered what was waiting for her at the end of this escapade.

As handsome, exciting and sexy as young Stanford Jr., is Claudette couldn't help but let herself imagine that she was with Griffin for a few moments. Both men were fine and sophisticated and dreamy hunks, but each in his own way. Griffin McCoy had that older, suave man of the world persona about him and he wore it well. His completely white head of hair and his confident manner; the way he wore his clothes...all of this only added to his sex appeal. Whereas Stanford was just beginning to realize his manliness, and that was a little endearing...but no! she could not nor would not dwell anything endearing! She still had work to do.

So she slipped out of bed, and gathered up her scattered clothing and shoes from around the room and quietly went into the huge bathroom to dress. How she would have loved to soak in this gorgeous bath tub! How she would have relished a slow and lazy 'morning after'; complete with breakfast in bed followed by more delicious loving. As she hurriedly redressed in last night's outfit (she must be gone before he wakes) she appeased herself with the thought that she'd get Griffin to bring her back here when they got together. Then, it would be all she'd want...and more.

She had promised to meet Honor downstairs in the coffee shop. The text message Honor had sent her very early this morning indicated that she was to be there at nine sharp. Honor would have the photos of her and Stanford Jr., in their sex acts. The tiny hidden camera was supposed to have captured at least an hour's worth of activity. So, being conscious of this fact was one of the stimuli that had kept her going. She had no way of knowing which sixty minutes of her star performance was to be immortalized on film.

Next, Honor would see to it that the film reached Helena Clayton; probably by the end of the day or thereabouts. When the room got cleaned by housekeeping, a certain house keeping specialist would be sure to neatly bundle up the bed linen from their love bed, remove the hidden camera to wrap up with the linens, deliver this bundle to the third person in the partnership and that person would then add the bundle to the envelope with the photos and the third present in this surprise package (which she would be passing along to Honor this morning) which was the pair of panties she had tucked inside her purse just for this purpose.

If that didn't send Helena over the edge...what would?

Claudette finished dressing and tiptoed across the room toward the door. Stanford moaned a little in his sleep but continued snoring softly. His arms and legs were sprawled out under the tangled sheets. He was totally out of it thanks to the small amount of sedative she had added to his night cap. It was simply a bit of insurance to make sure he didn't wake up before she had s chance to escape. She took a moment's pause to stand over him; looking at him and briefly thought that he looked so peaceful and so handsome in his sleep. Quickly giving herself a second to feel regret, she hoped that someday he would be able to forgive her, and that he would not have too bad a headache from the sedative. She kissed the tips of her fingers and lightly touched them to his lips.

It was too late for her now. She was too far gone; she was already down the rabbit hole and almost mad as a hatter.