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Monday, August 20, 2012

Young Hearts Run Free

Now I know that the title of this post will definitely spark a memory of the popular hit song by Candi Staton by the same title "Young Hearts Run Free" which is a selection on her album "The Best of Candi Staton".  In this song, Candi sings about the consequences of a young wife who spends her life living only for her husband in his shadow and loses her own identity as a person. She feels trapped in a marriage where he cheats and she is more of a mother than a wife. Her inspiration from her words in the song is that wives should learn about who they are on a personally and singularly; separate from being a "wife" but as a whole person. And that above all; she should love herself as much as she loves her man and its heartbreaking to discover that married women can get lonely too. Never lose the "woman" being the "wife".

'Young hearts run free, never be hung up, hung up like my man and me. (my man and me) Oh...oh..young hearts run free ...to yourself be true don't be no fool when love really does love you.' (does love you).

I have three very important questions for you to ask yourself in general and then ask yourself do any of them apply to you right now? How many married women go to bed at night sad, depressed and feeling empty because they feel as if something is missing from their lives? How many married women live together but separately from their husbands? How many look at the man they married and promised to love and cherish til death them do part...and secretly wish him dead? Come on; that was a legitimate question because I know that has crossed the minds of many a wife if only fleetingly at least once in her married life. Sure it is a very scary thought for anyone to think, but hey; sometimes he's made you just that mad or disgusted even.

He comes in at the end of his day out in the public world...working day to day with people who are interesting to talk to, and people who engage his mind in intellect and savvy. And a BIG part of the percentage of these interesting people are interesting women. Women who get dressed up everyday in their sophisticated and smart business clothes, wearing their high heels, their salon fresh haircuts and manicures, and they work in the same office or for the same company that your loved one goes to each day. Have you noticed anything different about him lately?

Is he coming home later than usual, or has he started rushing out each morning without breakfast or his coffee because of an early morning meeting? Ladies, this post is not about your husband being suspect of a little office romance or to make you out to be a victim, but rather its intended to encourage you to take a different look at yourself. Wake yourself up to a revelation of who you are, who you want to be and making a lifestyle change to become that person! You are the only one who can change what you don't like, or are unhappy with. If your marriage needs an overhaul, then of course you can't do it alone but you can re-engineer yourself on your own steam.

"Well, Real Grandmothers...how do I go about doing this?" I hear you asking, so here is what we suggest. While the kids are away at school, enroll in a morning class at the local community college, and if that is still inconvenient, enroll online at one of the many, many places of higher learning available. You don't have to study anything heavy duty, just take a course on a subject that has always appealed to you and that maybe you can use to bring in extra money someday. NEVER let your husband come home to find you still in your pajamas. Not great for your self-image!

That is inexcusable unless of course you're sick. Don't whine when you need extra money in excess of the household budget, whether its for the house, groceries or for yourself; the reason is immaterial as long as its legitimate. Stand up straight and tall when you need a raise. If you had to approach your boss in the workplace for a raise, you'd do it with finesse and confidence.  Your husband is not your boss, so don't cow tow to him but meet him on equal ground. Don't ask but make your point in a regular matter of fact way without getting defensive or pitiful because this ladies is BAD...BAD...BAD for your self-esteem! You are his wife, and not the hired help begging for a few extra dollars, so conduct your accordingly.

It'll become easier as time goes by. You will start to really love the new woman you're morphing into, and you know what? There just might be an extra perk in this for you. The new and improved woman sitting across the dinner table from your husband might be so very intriguing in her newness that you'll become the most interesting woman he talks to on a daily basis and suddenly he's sticking around for coffee in the mornings; reluctant to leave his beautiful butterfly!

Note: This album can be found and played on "Spotify."

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