Walk on By...

She stared down at the book in her lap, unseeing and having her mind going at breakneck speed in twenty different directions. She may as well have been carved out of stone because her body was as rigid and as still as a statue. The page in the book she held had not been turned for a time. Was it only yesterday that this book had held such interest for her? It was picked up and then opened to the bookmarked page all out of an automatic reflex to touch something...do something that would keep her mind from spinning out of control. Speaking out loud to the empty room as she stumbled about...nearly losing her balance trying to find her way in the dark, she was grasping at anything to make her forget if only for a while.

The pain had to be dulled. If it didn't surely she would die. She almost wanted to die. There were still a few Xanax left in the bottle, and if not her script was good for a refill. One refill would do it if it came to that. All of these disconnected and jumbled thoughts vied for attention in her mind as the old throwback soul ballad "Walk On By" sung by Dionne Warwick played on a loop in the background. Unaware that she was doing so, she began a pitiful rendition of the song, singing in an off- key barely above a whisper voice. "If you see me walking down the street...and I start to cry each time we meet...walk on by...walk on by. Foolish pride...that's all I have left so let me hide...the tears and the sadness you gave me when you said goodbye". Empty, unseeing eyes and an invasive cold vise squeezing her bruised heart, stripped of pride...all of them the products of a shattered dream...this was the picture she made.

She did not want to think or to feel any emotions right now. Nothing at all. She willed her mind to become blank and for the most part it was starting to happen, but lingering on the fringes was the bitter regret she felt because of her recent actions. Although the longed for relief of a blanked out mind was welcome to her, she had no doubts about the guilt that was even now festering away at her soul and would come soon enough at her in a full body slam.

It had not gone well between her and him. It was nothing at all the way she had dreamed it would be. For many nights she had lain awake or been awakened from the little sleep she managed to get with thoughts of the two of them spinning around and around in her head. Pushing out any other everyday mundane thoughts until they dominated all logical reasoning and she was drowning in her desire for him. Spiraling down deeper and deeper into a personal hell where she may never climb out of.

This should not have happened. None of this was right; it was all wrong. He'd made promises to her and he'd given her his word that she was the woman for him, and that it didn't matter not one whit to him what others may think or say. He was in love with her. He SAID...he PROMISED!! Oh my God...what am I going to do? A feeble part of her asked this question while almost simultaneously the tiny remaining cognizant corner of her psychosis ridden mind chastised and reminded her that the loving, kind and perfect God she had once served would not be listening to her.

Then, almost as if a high wattage jolt had hit her body, she jerked herself upright, and immediately snapped out of her pathetic reverie. What had suddenly occurred to her was a frightening...yet oddly comforting thought. REVENGE! She convinced herself that she didn't have to take this treatment form any man...didn't have to roll over and play dead like a trained dog. She'd been hurt, scorned, used and left for dead, but oh no! Ain't nobody got time for that! She'd pay him back and she'd do it good...real good.

What are your thoughts and comments? Next week...the Big Reveal and the identity of the characters will be unveiled!! Be sure to come back.

Three Faces in the Mirror

Everything about this night had a surreal quality to it and strangely that served to only add to the heightened adventure of the night ahead. From the moment I left my house until the moment I had arrived at our previously agreed upon destination I had felt the detached reality of it all. I remember thinking that 'This was it. This was the point of no return'. Other ridiculous thoughts entered into my mind at that time; stuff that didn't make any sense at all. Random, disconnected thoughts like 'here is where the rubber hits the road' and 'if you had any sense at all...you'd run like the hounds of hell were on your heels.'

But I paid no heed to the last minute warnings and imaginary flashing caution lights in my head. Right...(no...there was nothing right about what I was going to do); so wrong or whatever...I was here I was going through with it and there was no turning back. I came to divide and conquer and that was just what I intended to do. There was one small pesky thought that had popped up in my mind just before I left home. I had finished dressing and was taking one last look at my makeup in the bathroom mirror, and as I started to turn away from the mirror something caused me to look back at my reflection.

I stood there and stared at myself for a moment and I did form a mental picture of myself...three pictures actually. I looked at myself as a warm and loving mother and grandmother, a helpful and pleasant co-worker and (this was the latest addition) a wanton and unscrupulous woman. The smile that I had on my face right then assured me that this was the most fun personality I had and I was certainly looking forward to my rendezvous and I was determined to squelch any feelings of trepidation or second thoughts.

My heart beat seemed to match the click of my high heels against the pavement as I walked across the hotel parking lot. Excitement and nervousness competed with each other inside of me. I felt so alive; more alive than I had felt in months! I was going to block everything else out of my mind and just allow myself to feel whatever he made me feel. I would not think I would only react. He would be the puppeteer and I would dance for him, and he could make me into whatever he needed me to be.

The closer I got to the entrance the more I detached from the person I normally am. The everyday...average nice person. I would be someone else tonight. I'd be a sexy, outrageous, hot and desirable woman. It had to be that way because it was all a part of the master plan for revenge. When he and I had first made our plans for our hook-up, I imagined I'd have to detach and zone out so I could be with him and not have him suspect that I was only going through the motions. But then, the more we talked about it and the more he convinced me he wanted to be with me the easier it became to truly want to be with him. The fact that I was going to bed with my friend's husband was the ultimate satisfaction, but the fun was going to be mine and a perk that turned out to fit the plan perfectly.

I was inside the lobby now, and heading toward the elevator. I got on as some other people got off
and pushed the button for the twenty-first floor, heading for room twenty-seven-twenty-two. There were no other patrons in the beautifully decorated hallway. The thick carpet muted my footsteps as I walked to my right and toward my destiny.  There it was. And he was behind that door. Waiting for me. I'd gotten a call from him minutes after I'd left home and he took that opportunity to recount the things we would do when we got together.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked softly on the door. He opened it almost instantly. Smiling at me with that drop dead smile of his he stood there looking at me up and down like a hungry dog eyes a meaty bone.

"Hello Claudette".
"Hello Stanford".

"Come in"....


What are your thoughts and comments? Did you see that coming?

Sisters Interrupted...The Last Chapter

And so by now (if you have been keeping up with the story), we are in a state of semi-shock over what has been said thus far. There is a whole new side to our friend that we had no idea existed! Far from us to be judgmental, but this was information we were simply not prepared for. Needless to say, we had to top off our drinks, and make them doubles by now. So, the story continues...

Bonnie then said that it didn’t take much cajoling on Waverley’s part to get her to join him.  He probably figured that she was getting back at her sister and frankly it was all the same to him. Whether out of spite or not, or who was using who was totally irrelevant at this point. That they got together was all he wanted. So off they went together, but out of a sense of decency; they retired to Bonnie’s old bedroom.

She spent that night and the rest of the weekend with each other with Waverley as her starter husband, and she caught up in a web of deceit, sinful lust and misplaced spite. But, as she was packing to return to college on Sunday afternoon, it hit her and it hit her hard about what she had done. The acts of betrayal were like a bitter taste in her mouth. She had no misconception about what she had done, she did not question her behavior, and no misplaced blame on her brother-in-law, she accepted her part in the dirty deed. Nevertheless, after it was all over, they avoided each other all Sunday morning. Before she donned her hair-shirt in self-recrimination, she informed him that she was going to tell her sister about what had happened.

Of course he begged her not to, but she was determined to at least get that much off of her conscience. After she had finished packing and made herself a light meal, she sat down in the living room to wait for the family’s arrival. Earlier, Evie had phoned Waverley and let him know they would be home in a couple of hours, so the time was very near...in about twenty minutes or so. He stayed locked way in the room he shared with Evie. When the door opened and her father walked in , Bonnie knew the hour had come.

She hugged and kissed her parents and gave her sister a weak smile but no intimacy passed between them. Amid her Mom’s questions and attempts at conversation, Bonnie asked Evie to come into her room upstairs. Long story short, she broke it down to her about the weekend with her husband, and although she was sorry she had hurt her, she wanted to leave with a clear conscience. Well, Evelyn Yvette wasn’t about to let it go that easily. She hit Bonnie smack dab in the face, and Bonnie hit her back. After that it was punch for punch and lick for lick. A real knockdown drag out cat fight. 

Their parents came up and broke up the fight, sat them down and tried to understand what had caused this. So of course the whole sordid tale was repeated, her Mom was mortified and she cried and nearly passed out, her dad was ready to kill Waverley and Evie vowed never to speak to her again. They shared the same parents, but they were no longer sisters. It had been that way until this day. Bonnie admitted she had made several attempts at reconciliation over the years, but Evie had not responded. 

Yes, she had truly repented of her sins, and God forgave her and after a time she forgave herself. It took a while, but she and her parents had put the past behind them and Evie and Waverley were still married, but she never saw them. Bonnie had paid the price for a brief time of reckless abandon and the cost was extremely high.

She missed her sister. Never would she have believed she would feel this way, especially after the way their relationship was anyway...tolerant but not bonded in sisterhood. After a few moments of silence, we pulled ourselves together and Alexis got us all to hold hands and we got down on our knees and prayed for healing of this awful family rift, and we asked God to restore these sisters to a relationship better than it was before. To give them back what had been lost between them, and then we all had a beautiful tear fest...after all what are friends for?

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Sisters Interrupted...A Confessional (Part Two)

We remained in full rapturous attention mode while Bonnie began her story...or as she opened with; "her confessional". The telling involved her, her older sister Evelyn Yvette ("Evie" for short) and Evie's husband Waverly Knight. When Evie and Waverly began their wedded life together, it was on a shoe string budget, so the new couple lived with the bride's parents. Of course this arrangement was supposed to be temporary just until they could save up enough money for a down payment on a place of their own.

Bonnie is the youngest of three girls, making her seven years Evie's junior, because Evie is the oldest daughter. So, she was at this time a young, beautiful and impressionable nineteen, and a sophomore at college. One particular weekend she came home unexpectedly because she was bored beiong on campus and was a little homesick for her parents. She had called her Mom but when she didn't get an answer she decided to just come on home because she knew her Mom would be thrilled.

Bonnie didn't really care about visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Knight at all. Actually, she didn't really like her sister all that much anyway. Evie had always thought herself entitled as the oldest daughter in a female dominated household. She was practically a bully to poor Dyane (the middle daughter called 'Delicious' for short), but Bonnie didn't take no wooden nickels from her. And as for Waverly; well he was so conceited and vain until it was totally beyond thought how any woman could stand him.

Now at this point in the story, we all paused for additional refreshment and to fill up our snack plates. after we had settled back down, having had potty breaks and all, Bonnie continued. Okay...on this weekend Bonnie arrived home around 3pm on Friday afternoon. She was tired and hungry after her four hour drive from school and she made a beeline for the kitchen and the fridge. She was standing there checking out the leftovers in the fridge when she felt the prescence of someone else in the room. Turning her head towrds the door, she saw her brother-in-law leaning against the door jamb looking her over like she was a piece of meat.

She said hello to him and asked if he shouldn't be out looking for work. To this he replied that he had finished combing the streets for today. When he said this, Bonnie's first thought was "combing the streets for what?' she wondered and let out a chuckle. He made no pretense that he was coming on to her; he came over and backed her up against the sink. He placed his arms on either side of her and said how fortunate he was that she came home because otherwise he would have had to spend the next two days and nights alone.

"Where's everyone at? Where's Mom and Dad?' she asked as she pushed him away and walked over to the table to sit down. He got out a couple of cold beers from the fridge and passed her one and said that they had gone down to see Aunt Maddie for the weekend. Aunt Maddie's son had called and told Bonnie's Mom that she was very very ill and needed to see all of her family. Naturally Evie went with them since she was family, and naturally he didn't since he wasn't.

Now, like she had said earlier, she didn't care for her sister and her high fallutin ways, and it was a stretch to be around Waverly, but something in her (probably her alter-ego) found this situation interesting. She met Waverly's direct gaze and returned his smile as they clink their beer bottles together in a mock salute. What is going on here? Well she would be finding out soon enough...


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