The Magic of Pretend...A Christmas Story

Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year! We look forward in unabashed excitement and glee to the celebration of love and joy that is Christmas. We know that the real reason for the season is of course...the Holy Birth of Jesus and many little kids learn the song "Happy Birthday Jesus" in Christian schools and in Sunday School. But there is a commercial side to the holiday season that has a very strong pull to even the staunchiest Christian. We like that part too, and we throw ourselves into the planning, the decorating, the shopping and the best part...the cooking and eating with a gladness that is unmatched any other season of the year(with the exception perhaps of summer vacation).

What really makes this time of the year so bright and jolly is the contagious excitement we see in our grandchildren. Oh boy; do they get extra spoiled at Christmas! Parents may ask us to "cut back" some on toys (my own son informed me lovingly of course; that any toys Santa may put under their tree from me had to be subsequently transferred to my house) and believe me that is not a problem. We may have a tendency to give more than we should but isn't that a part of living up to the "Grand" in Grandmother?

Children who still believe in Santa have an innocence about them that is so precious. I'm a really big kid and I do believe! I do I do believe! Kids can talk to Santa at the mall, write him letters to drop off in his special mailbox, and actually believe that their wishes will come true and all of the toys and gifts they asked for will magically appear under the tree on the grand Christmas morning. So we pretend there is a holly jolly fat guy in a red and white suit who comes down the chimney or through the back door left open just for him with a giant bag of toys. Some are hoping to get their bills paid; to keep their utilities and their cable on.

We pretend that he ate the ham sandwich and the slice of chocolate cake left on the kitchen counter. And in the midst of this pretense we feel a magical pull that we might find very hard to deny or to resist, because we are looking for something to believe in.We desperately want to believe that one day there will be peace on earth, and that world hunger will be eliminated, poverty will cease and cures will be found for diseases and sicknesses. The wonder of Christmas and what it puts into our hearts and minds make it possible to believe these things will come to pass as long as we BELIEVE!

Believing requires faith, and faith requires belief. So for a few weeks each year we engage ourselves in this magic and we sprinkle stardust over our lives, we put paid to animosity and strife and sing"Joy to the World", Silent Night","Silver Bells" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and all is well with the universe. What would truly magical is if we would keep this mindset the whole year through and if every one of us would not be content to just sit by and watch, but to become actively involved in our communities to bring about peace and prosperity. We don't know the strength of our own abilities to bring about change, and then maybe...just maybe...the magic of pretend can become the magic of reality.

Merry Christmas !
The Real Grandmothers of Charlotte

The Secret's Out...

 Mature women live with peer pressure, that brings on insecurities and major cases of "wanna be's". I'm Alexis Martin, and I write this blog. I am privy to a lot of information about what's really going on behind closed doors in the houses of my friends because they tell me. And I'm telling you (not because I'm a gossip or anything, right?) Well, I never really cared for Helena. Sure we have been friends for a number of years but truth be told, I have never actually bonded with her. I can count on one hand the times we have been alone together. It seems as if we always have one of our friends with us because let's face it...we need a buffer zone.

 I have even told other people that I can't stand her. I don't like having such strong feelings of dislike toward anyone but I'm currently in therapy now trying to work through my emotional distress about a lot of crap, that includes Helena.
Helena's vanity has gotten her into some serious trouble. She is constantly trying to "one-up" everyone around her. Earlier this year, Helena was elected President of her Condo Board. That thrilled her to no end and immediately she went shopping for a new wardrobe of "Power Clothes" and began a one woman campaign to change everything that she didn't like about the neighbors and the building. Little did she know what lay in wait for her.

It was a setup from the beginning. Several neighbors and most of the Board Members did not care for Helena and Clayton. We will disclose exactly what straw broke the camel's back later, but for now just know that they both had on more than one occasion ignored the rules. Neither one of them were social with the neighbors and their grandchildren were discouraged from playing with any of the other kids in the building in the designated play area. Hence, the aversion toward them. They neighbors met covertly on several occasions to get strategic on how to publicly humiliate her. And since it was time to elect a new board President anyway, they agreed this was the ideal situation to launch their attack.  They all knew that neither Helena or Clayton would be the wiser because of the unanimous election simply because both of them had such inflated egos and a sense of entitlement they would be perfect prey.

Vindictiveness carries a big stick! When they staged a perfectly timed and coup against her after a mere six weeks on her throne, she was of course, devastated, and the neighbors were elated at her humiliation. For days Helena would not come around her friends. She tried unsuccessfully to keep this information quiet but hey let's face it...juicy stuff like this cannot be contained. Besides, I don't think she knew that one of the condo board members is distantly related to Claudette and he relayed the story to her and Claudette (who can't keep anything to herself) told me.  She knew I would want to celebrate.

Poor Helena. She is so very conceited and totally clueless that in her mind she rationalized that this was all about her looks.  The women are jealous and the men desirous of her. When she had completely convinced herself of this, she began to feel better and to return to the outside world, but vowing to herself a remake into an even more devastatingly beautiful woman. And so as not to alert her family by using pills or powders or meal shakes, she decided the easiest way to lose weight (those pesky 6 pounds she imagined were bulging on her hips) was to simply throw up after she ate. That way she could continue to behave as she always did (sometimes eating like a lumberjack) and no one would know. Now you all know, this is not the end of the story.

Stay Tuned!!! More to come!!

Mother to Grandmother...And Still a Woman

What every mother enjoys as she raises her family is the fact that she is needed. Needed and valued and family life just cannot function in it's fullest fullness without Mother. We start off involved in our children's lives with the unmatched joys of infancy; diaper changes, bottle washing, sleepless nights, you know the whole drill. These life events are permanently etched in every part of our brain, and they make up cherished memories and the memories multiply as each child reaches a milestone in their life. Before we know it, we were standing at the bus stop sending them off to elementary school and the next day we are in the audience at their high school graduation. Fast forward to college years, marriages, and births of the grandchildren and viola! you get to do it all over again. Here is the difference this time around...you are usually not the one in charge and your role is to mentor (parents first; remember the new parents who used to be your very own little kid?) and later on in life to the second generation child.

Now I know that the "so-called traditional role" of Grandmother has morphed into full-time substitute Mother in some families where Grandma is the only Mother some children have ever known. That is nothing new. And one major reason why we should not define "traditional" slots for us to fit in. The real grandmother role has been up front and center for ages. Some of us live in, some of us have the grands as members of our own household or we commute to babysit. Either way the scenarios change depending on the family dynamic and we provide whatever they need from us. That's what we are all about.

But, there is a flip side. Aside from being loving and nurtuing to the grandchildren and providing intricate support systems and functioning as cheerleaders for our own sons and daughters guess what? We exist as a separate entity. We are intelligent, intellectual, sensual, interesting, and independent of our families. We can balance our checkbooks, change the air filters in our homes, engage in enlightening conversation and hold our own in a political debate. In other words we are REAL. Romance, intrigue and love exists in our lives. These are some of the topics I will be discussing in my posts. Follow me and let's see what this is all about.