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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

An Identity in Crisis...

We have all known women who have such an aversion to being unattached that they will do and accept just about anything to get and keep a man in their lives.We know women whose identity is tied up in a man thinking that without one they are unattractive, un-sexy, and un-datable, because they don't know who they really are on their own. Meet my friend Bonita Shipp Lowery Davis Powell, married and divorced three times, and before the ink was dry on the papers from divorce #3 she was in a new relationship.Her current guy Avery Hampton, who lives in a neighboring city is supposed to be separated but not divorced and we didn't know a lot about him except for the few details Bonnie chose to share with us, her friends.Tonight, she was in a state because she hadn't seen him in nearly two weeks and he was finally coming over. To Bonnie absence made her heart grow fonder, but it made her mind grow suspicious.She had spent the day in preparation for tonight; cooking a delicious meal, shopping for the perfect lounging outfit, creating a sensual setting in her living room to promote a welcoming romantic atmosphere.

She wanted him to feel relaxed and mellow, but not too mellow that he was tempted, no that either of them was tempted to go too far. Although she was more than ready for a certain degree of intimacy, she was by no means ready for the Big Sleepover. Hamp was over six feet tall and he had a certain something about his dark-skinned bald headed self that was hard to define. Ladies, you know what I mean right? Debonair, smooth operator kinda guy.She did a mental check of the scene; soft candlelight, Angie Stone playing on the stereo, fireplace going, and then the door chime sounded. He was here! Her heart did it's little flip- flop that it always did whenever she knew he was near.

The evening was progressing nicely and they were relaxed and just enjoying each others company. Bonnie got up to the kitchen to get the meal on the table when Hamp took her arm and asked her to wait, he had something to ask her. She smiled and sat back down prepared to listen. He asked her if she would like to go away on a trip next weekend. She was over the moon that he had asked, but she smiled and said that the next Saturday was a special occasion for her six year old granddaughter's Daisy Scout Troop. She had agreed to accompany the Leaders on the outing as an extra set of hands, and her granddaughter was thrilled to have her Nana going with them. She had talked about this for weeks and was so excited!

Well, this news did not go over well with Hamp. He gently moved Bonnie's hands from around his neck, and with his facial expression set in a hard line, he said to her that he didn't know that her family would cause problems in their relationship. She tried to calmly explain to him that these plans were made a few weeks ago and maybe if he hadn't been AWAR (AbsentWithoutAReason) for two weeks they could have discussed it earlier. Hamp said there was nothing to discuss. He clearly expected her to be at his beckon call whenever. And don't you know that for several seconds she actually considered cancelling out on her granddaughter? What? Seriously?

But she finally said to him there was nothing she could do about it and maybe they could go away the following week. Hamp relented a little because he knew he had to in order to complete his agenda for the evening which included...well you know. So he laid down his expectations for her, that he didn't have time for kids in his life and that he was spontaneous and he wanted his woman to be ready for life at any given moment, and if that meant not being so much involved with grand kids, then so be it. Then he reached for her ready for seduction, but she pulled away. Not because of what he'd said about the kind of woman he wanted (she had tucked that way for later consideration) but because she had imagined this evening differently. While she had been thinking Angie Stone "Stay for a While" he had been thinking Marvin Gaye "Come Get to This".

Will Bonnie choose Hamp over family? What will she say to Hamp? Stay tuned to find out...

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