The Best of the RGOC Podcasts

Dear Audience,

 

It is indeed a pleasure to be able to present you with another aspect of our Blog, and to make easy access available to you." The Best of The RGOC Podcasts" can be visisted by clicking on the link below. The page will open up in a new window, directly to Anchor Podcasts and you will be able to browse through the episodes and listen to your choices. 

 We believe in keeping up with the demands of an interested public, and it is our desire to provide continuous improvement by researching the needs, interests and appeal of our audience. 

Thank You.

The Real Grandmothers of Charlotte

Administration

 

https://anchor.fm/boss-lady-2020

 

 

Betrayal and Revenge

We've all heard these words before..."To err is human, and to forgive is divine". And these words could hold as much truth as they do wisdom. But, they could also be easier said than done especially when the person on the receiving end of the natural side of the forgiveness is one of your best friends. Treasured and loved like a sister.

Revenge is sweet. Revenge is a dish best served cold. "Revenge is mine"...saith the Lord. But when you're on the receiving end of the betrayal...it's easier said than done.

What happens when friendship turns sour? What events can make a tried, tested and true friend become a turncoat? How do best friends cope with betrayal from one of their own?

We'll see just what has gone down between two of the best friends in The Real Grandmothers of Charlotte, and what the resulting repercussions of the foursome's friendship are along with the effects they will all have to learn to live with. 

It's time to keep it real.  

On the Road to Perdition...Part One

Myranda Clayton Rice felt and looked the worse for wear. She had been out fall night partying with some people she was friendly with because she certainly could not call them friends. The word 'friend' in its definitive term did not factor into her vocabulary because truthfully she did not know of one single solitary soul she could pin the word to. At the ripe old age of thirty-eight, she had very little to show for her life on this earth. So very different from her la-DE-da younger sister Regina, or her bourgeois older brother Stanford Jr.

Her life had been on a steady downward spiral for the past two years. And typical of people with her particular brand of personality and who possessed the long list of disorders that she did always put the blame on others. They did not take responsibility for their own actions and out of an exaggerated sense of entitlement never failed to see their wrongs as a conspiracy against them. The world was to blame and all of the more fortunate folks in it had conspired to hold her and those like her who were down on their luck back from achieving any kind of a better life.


Why should she have it so hard? Ever since that bastard Palmer got into trouble and went to prison she had not been the same. Sure, she realized that she had some problems...who wouldn't have after going through what she went through? Losing her financial freedom, losing her husband (who she discovered was a liar, a cheat and on the down-low as well to add insult to injury) and most of all having to leave her own children. While she was in rehab the first time right after all this happened, her parents took the kids to care for. They didn't exactly turn them against her, but when she got out and tried to put her life back together, they acted like she was a stranger. That hurt like hell.

The men and women with whom she caroused the night away with were a rag tag collection of losers made up of druggies, prostitutes and some cons on the run from the law. She didn't care anything about their backgrounds. All she cared about was where and how she'd get her next fix or drink. Long as they kept coming, her companions mattered little to her. They were just disembodied faces with no names.

Thankfully, her sister Regina sent her money once a month that was supposed to be going toward her education expenses for the courses she had enrolled for at the local community college. Her classy, upstanding parents would not hand over a dime in cash to her, but agreed to pay for books and class essentials, but Regina's money was meant for her personal use. She had started classes and was aspiring to be a gourmet chef, but after only one semester she had dropped out. Naturally, Helena and Stanford soon found that out, but it was a miracle that Regina didn't know.

It wasn't a loss of interest that caused her to do so, it was because she had met up with this guy (lets' call him Dwayne) who convinced her that she'd be better off working as an apprentice of sorts and getting her training on the job. So, he introduced her to another guy (lets' call him JT) who worked as a chef in a mid-town restaurant and he agreed to speak to the manager on her behalf. It was all on the up and up with the chef guy. He was really intending to help Myranda get a job in his restaurant, but Dwayne was planning on running a con game.

Well, Dwayne told her that his chef friend JT was looking to strike out on his own and if he did, she could probably be co-owner with him. Trouble was, he needed some investors to help him get his business off the ground and if she could manage to raise five thousand dollars she could get in on the ground floor.

Long story short, Myranda managed to raise the five grand by selling an heirloom piece of jewelry she lifted from her mother's house on a rare occasion she went to visit. The diamond studded brooch sold for seven thousand five hundred dollars and she promptly handed over the five to Dwyane and tried to save the rest. That did not last long. As soon as she found out that she had been scammed, she sank into a depression so deep she wanted to die. In fact, she had been placed on suicide watch for the first month of her committ,ment. Once again, Helena and Stanford took Julia and Kirk home with them.

Palmer's parents; Walker and Ruby Hendricks and Steve and Linda Rice (his father's second wife is Linda) tried to get involved. Of course Myranda's parents were more than agreeable to visitation and keeping the kids familiar with both sets of their fathers parents. Only the second time around, Palmer's mother Ruby thought that she and her husband should share equal custody with the Claytons. It got to be one big royal pain to deal with, but they were no match for Stanford and his legal eagles, so Julia and Kirk remained with Helena and Stanford.

Two years went by, and Myranda was released into the care of her parents. For a while all was fine, and she seemed to be making remarkable progress. The setback came when Regina admitted to her that she had had an affair with Palmer before he met her and that she was the one to break it off. This breakup had sent him running into the arms of her sister, and that every time they were thrown together Palmer missed no opportunity to tell her that Myranda had been second choice....


Stay tuned for Part Two!!

A Relative Position

It had been a wonderfully enjoyable and romantic trip. The past year had been very good to Helena and Stanford Clayton Sr. They both had so much to be grateful for; as a couple and as individuals. Their marriage had gone through a severe trial as a result of a variety of contributing factors that conspired them to ultimate ruination. But, by the mercy of God, and divine intervention the marriage had survived and not only merely survived...it was thriving and they had never been so happy. It was almost like they rediscovered each other and recognized that they were two people independent of each other; yet still a couple.

In other words, after many years of ignoring the critical signs of marital breakdown, and refusing to address the problem areas of their marriage, Helena and Stanford were tremendously blessed to salvage the remains of a tortured and disintegrating union. After the domestic disturbance they experienced, no one expected them to be able to carry on. The almost total meltdown of them as a married couple had literally been a saving grace.

All of their children and grandchildren were prospering nicely with the exception of Myranda. Myranda Clayton Rice was the middle child, and quite frankly she was the one least expected to be the problem child. If Helena and Stanford would have had to name a child out of the three offspring, it would have been Stanford Jr., (the oldest) that would have been expected to ...well...have issues. Myranda and her husband Palmer had lost quite a bit of money a few years back in a pyramid scheme. Probably one of Palmer's biggest faults was his love of money. He was always looking for ways to turn an easy buck, and not all of these avenues had been exactly above board. His real vice was when he dragged his wife into it and convinced her to invest some of her own private funds into whatever cockamamie thing he was up to at the moment. And at that particular moment, he was into the so-called fast easy money making pyramid scheme.

Myranda knew it was the wrong thing to do when she married Palmer Rice, but she was hell bent on defying her parents. At the end of a brief courtship (she and Palmer dated for six weeks before getting married) they ran off to tie the knot to the dismay and the disappointment of both sets of parents. Palmer bore the brunt of the burden of the illegal scam, and subsequently the worst of the punishment that had been doled out to the four scammers. Philip Dover and Connor Woods were partners in crime with Palmer and had both received the same sentence. Jacob Hearn (who was married to Myranda's sister Regina) and also a pyramid partner had gotten off with the lightest of the sentences. He had to serve three years in a minimum security facility that was more of a "state run country club" than a correctional facility, but whereas he may have gotten off lightly as far as the law was concerned, his ultimate cost came at the dissolution of his marriage. Regina Hearn sued him for divorce the day he went off to "prison" and promptly put him out of her life.

With the financial aid of her parents, she was able to make a fresh start for herself and her twin sons; Eric and Eli. Not only did she set out to recoup her losses (which she did) but she actually made more money through hard work and dedication than she had thought she would. While Regina pulled her life out of the toilet and handled her business like a woman, Myranda on the other hand, used the situation to dig herself further into a hole. Her two children Julia and Kirk were already disadvantaged by the fate of their father, and she only made it worse by just about abandoning them in pursuit of her own worldly pleasures, being selfish and feeling endowed at the same time. When Palmer went off to prison, Julia was only a year old, and Kirk was just turning three. Helena had kept them at her home for nearly a year, providing a full time nanny and giving them both the love and support her wayward daughter could not seem to find the time or the inclination to give.

Now, it is a few years later, and although Myranda has come a long ways from where she was at one time, there was still quite a bit of road remaining to travel. The most important thing to come from her rehabilitation was that she had reconciled to be a better mother to Julia and Kirk. She was making remarkable progress in that area, but her weakness for men was still her personal demon and a wound that didn't want to heal.

Stanford had rescued his beautiful, smart, sexy wife from being a mother of three adult children and grandmother to four lovely and wonderful kids. He took this wife and grandmother away for a long, relaxing vacation; but here's the thing...he left going on this vacation with his wife. He spent the vacation with his woman. His desire was to leave the wife behind and release the woman within to be free to be all that she could, would and should be during the two weeks they spent on the French Riviera. It was a great life and it was filled with doing incredible things.

They were blessed and would never, ever forget it.

She Works Hard for the Money

It had been intended to be the event of the year. Hours and hours had gone into the planning and many, many weeks had been filled with endless frustration and a seemingly never-ending task list of things to do. Then, there was the hard-to-deal with prim a-donas who were the dress designers, the flower designers, the caterers and the list went on and on...and on. All of them were always right and no one was ever wrong! And not necessarily at the end of that list were the people in the bridal party. Talk about selfish, egotistical and just downright bitchy!! Alexis had never met a more tiresome and irritating group of women.

But what was she to do? This was her first gig as a newly minted Wedding Planner and Developer. This new career move had been in the works for a couple of years. After she had graduated and received her degree, she then had to deal with the exhausting process of a new business start-up. She had worked closely with her son to create a workable and doable business plan, she had secured financing for the suite of offices she rented, hired her assistants, met with advertisers networked with other entrepreneurs and business people who would be invaluable as both promotional and operative support. Every single detail had been carefully executed and nine months ago she opened for business!

Almost immediately after she advertised her grand-opening she had booked her first wedding. Of course, there had been plenty of up front advertising, and she had hosted a couple of meet and greet cocktail parties with local women's organizations to help get her name out there, so it was no real surprise that she hit the ground running. Her confidence as an extremely capable and efficient designer/developer was in place. She had no qualms about getting busy with her first official job, and from start to finish it had been a true accomplishment.

The brand-new custom tailored wardrobe Alexis had secured was stunning. Each item of clothing had been designed and made just for her, and each item was a work of art. Now mind you; she didn't get couture fashions...that was out of the question, but she was fortunate enough to have been able to afford a basic business wardrobe consisting of mix and match separates. In addition, there was a selection outfits ranging from formal to business chic to be worn at the weddings she hosted and other social affairs as required.

Her good fortune was the result of being in the line of someone else's blessings. To be accurate, a very dear friend of hers had been the recipient of a huge financial windfall, and had been extremely generous with Alexis. And to top it all off, her new digs were the work of a fabulous new up and coming designer whose name was already on the lips of some pretty influential folks.

So this wedding...her debut project was set to take place in two days. She had been over her final-final-final check list with her assistant at least three times and could not find any action items that had not been completed. The plans were in place and all was ready with the exception of two minor details that were scheduled to be taken care of the next day, and Sunny was going to make that happen. She was on the books at her favorite spa for a full day of beauty and relaxation the next day and frankly she couldn't wait.

She logged off of her laptop, and turned off her iPad. No use of any electronic gadgetry except her phone was allowed for the rest of this night! Tonight she was entertaining a gentleman friend and she needed to change her clothes and make herself beautiful for her date. It had been a long time since they had seen each other and she was excited about being with him tonight. Although she didn't expect any physical intimacies beyond first base, it was still exciting to prepare for an evening with a handsome and viral member of the opposite sex; especially when you knew you'd have a good time.

Smiling to herself, and singing off-key a popular R&B song, off she went to her boudoir to do her thing.

And then...it happened...  

Big Girls Need Love Too...

When I was brainstorming for a blog topic, I thought back to an incident that happened to me about fourteen years ago. It seemed like a great topic to talk about and one that would probably relate to a vast majority of today's women.That was when I was a really BIG girl (and I don't mean that I was just Blessed In Grace BIG, but try a whopping 280# big). Big girls need love too!

Here's the story. I had signed up for the Personals Ads in my local newspaper in hopes of finding an eligible man to date. For the most part, there was no lack of responses left in my mailbox, but whether or not they were ideal choices left a lot to be desired.

After meeting and going through the rituals with several unlikely candidates, I ran across a young man who seemed to be a great choice. I remember his real name but here we will call him Gary. Well, Gary had listed himself as single, a schoolteacher in the neighboring county school system and attractive. Enough said and good enough for me to start.

We had the requisite introductory phone call, and then we had maybe two more followup calls before he suggested we meet each other. He had told me several times during our conversations that he liked the way I sounded and was excited to meet me. When he asked what I looked like I used the KISS method and kept it simple saying I was quite attractive and well-dressed and proceeded to give the color of my eyes and complexion. I purposefully and conveniently left out my weight. Lucky for me (or maybe not so lucky) those cursory descriptions satisfied him.

Our first date was set for the upcoming weekend; Saturday evening he would come by my house to get acquainted and we would go to dinner at Appleby's Restaurant and Grill. I had taken lots of care in choosing my outfit and my makeup. Of course I was nervous; I wanted desperately to meet a nice man and have someone special in my life. Ladies you know where I'm coming from! I'm no stranger to this blo subject, and many of you have read similar subjects on my posts before.

So, he was expected to arrive around five that afternoon, and I'd made up the drinks table in my living room with three kinds of liquor, an ice bucket, cocktail glasses and several kinds of mixers. The house was clean, smelt fresh, I looked good and I smelt heavenly. The doorbell rang at four forty-eight. I readied my smile, took a couple of deep fortifying breaths and opened the door to a really good-looking, tall, neatly dressed and friendly looking guy...whose smile faltered immediately when he laid eyes on my girth.

Oh sure he recovered quickly enough but I saw it, and it was no mistaking what I saw. Naturally that dampened the initial excitement, but I was a great hostess so I followed through with my hostessing duties and invited him to have a seat and offered him a drink. He accepted without hesitation and sat alone in one of the matching side by side wing chairs placed across from the sofa. It was a bad choice because I felt obligated to take the other chair beside him instead of sitting across from him on the sofa.

I managed to keep up a steady stream of small talk to which he politely responded but his preoccupation was very evident. I could see he was regretting coming here already. After I had prepared our drinks and poured a small bowl of peanuts, I placed everything on a serving tray. I placed the tray on the coffee table that was located in front of the chairs. I picked up his glass and gave it to him along with a napkin and offered him the bowl of nuts which he declined and so did I.

I sat down in the chair with my drink, and turned a little sideways so I could look at him while we talked. He told me more about his school teacher job, and I told him a little about my job. Finally, we were both finished with our drinks and he suggested that we get going to the restaurant. I agreed and started to get up out of the chair when I realized I was stuck! I forgot that was one reason why I always avoided sitting in these chairs! OMG. I was so embarrassed, I tried to stall a bit by asking him a question. He must have been extremely sensitive to this situation because he asked to use the restroom. I pointed to the hallway and told him where he'd find it.

He could see I was embarrassed and that I needed time to get out of the chair unobserved. As he walked by me I could see the look of pity in his eyes and I wanted to DIE! Just die! But I squirmed around and heaved myself out of the chair and managed to appear as if I wasn't out of breath with the effort when he returned. Ever the gentleman, he escorted me to his car which was thankfully NOT a low bucket seat one, but a pickup truck which had a bench seat and instead of falling in and sinking down in the seat, I climbed in and was able to sit erect and like a lady.

Our conversation actually went well. I guess we both knew that this would be our one and only date and so there was no pressure to further impress each other. We laughed and enjoyed our food, and of course the two extra drinks we had before and with dinner didn't hurt things any. When Gary took me home he helped me out of the truck and when I invited him inside he accepted only to use the restroom before heading back home; which was about a thirty minute drive. He smiled at me and wished me well before taking his leave, but made no effort to kiss me or hug me.

I hadn't expected him to, but the woman in me was still a little disappointed that he didn't try. Right then and there I promised myself that I would lose weight, tone up and take better care of my body. Never again would a man look at me with pity, shock or revulsion because I was huge. Now before you form the opinion that no woman should base her self worth on what others see in her or think of her (you would be spot on if you did) allow me to explain. No one can alter my own opinion of myself or make me feel less self-respect for my physical appearance. But this was the wake-up call that I needed to get moving.

No woman wants to have a man she is attracted to look at her with disgust or any other negative feelings. I know that Gary and I were not meant to be, but who says that the next man I met wouldn't have the same reaction? Or that if I wasn't mindful of my weight I could very well continue to pile on the pounds?

Big or small, short or tall, we have the same basic instinct and desires. We all want to feel desirable and be desired. We want to love ourselves so others can love us back. Big girls need love too.


Footnote: And just for the record...eleven years ago I started on a major diet and lost seventy seven pounds over the course of a year and a half. Some of it has come back, but I am happy to say that forty eight pounds has remained off for all of nine years.

Young Hearts Run Free

Now I know that the title of this post will definitely spark a memory of the popular hit song by Candi Staton by the same title "Young Hearts Run Free" which is a selection on her album "The Best of Candi Staton".  In this song, Candi sings about the consequences of a young wife who spends her life living only for her husband in his shadow and loses her own identity as a person. She feels trapped in a marriage where he cheats and she is more of a mother than a wife. Her inspiration from her words in the song is that wives should learn about who they are on a personally and singularly; separate from being a "wife" but as a whole person. And that above all; she should love herself as much as she loves her man and its heartbreaking to discover that married women can get lonely too. Never lose the "woman" being the "wife".

'Young hearts run free, never be hung up, hung up like my man and me. (my man and me) Oh...oh..young hearts run free ...to yourself be true don't be no fool when love really does love you.' (does love you).

I have three very important questions for you to ask yourself in general and then ask yourself do any of them apply to you right now? How many married women go to bed at night sad, depressed and feeling empty because they feel as if something is missing from their lives? How many married women live together but separately from their husbands? How many look at the man they married and promised to love and cherish til death them do part...and secretly wish him dead? Come on; that was a legitimate question because I know that has crossed the minds of many a wife if only fleetingly at least once in her married life. Sure it is a very scary thought for anyone to think, but hey; sometimes he's made you just that mad or disgusted even.

He comes in at the end of his day out in the public world...working day to day with people who are interesting to talk to, and people who engage his mind in intellect and savvy. And a BIG part of the percentage of these interesting people are interesting women. Women who get dressed up everyday in their sophisticated and smart business clothes, wearing their high heels, their salon fresh haircuts and manicures, and they work in the same office or for the same company that your loved one goes to each day. Have you noticed anything different about him lately?

Is he coming home later than usual, or has he started rushing out each morning without breakfast or his coffee because of an early morning meeting? Ladies, this post is not about your husband being suspect of a little office romance or to make you out to be a victim, but rather its intended to encourage you to take a different look at yourself. Wake yourself up to a revelation of who you are, who you want to be and making a lifestyle change to become that person! You are the only one who can change what you don't like, or are unhappy with. If your marriage needs an overhaul, then of course you can't do it alone but you can re-engineer yourself on your own steam.

"Well, Real Grandmothers...how do I go about doing this?" I hear you asking, so here is what we suggest. While the kids are away at school, enroll in a morning class at the local community college, and if that is still inconvenient, enroll online at one of the many, many places of higher learning available. You don't have to study anything heavy duty, just take a course on a subject that has always appealed to you and that maybe you can use to bring in extra money someday. NEVER let your husband come home to find you still in your pajamas. Not great for your self-image!

That is inexcusable unless of course you're sick. Don't whine when you need extra money in excess of the household budget, whether its for the house, groceries or for yourself; the reason is immaterial as long as its legitimate. Stand up straight and tall when you need a raise. If you had to approach your boss in the workplace for a raise, you'd do it with finesse and confidence.  Your husband is not your boss, so don't cow tow to him but meet him on equal ground. Don't ask but make your point in a regular matter of fact way without getting defensive or pitiful because this ladies is BAD...BAD...BAD for your self-esteem! You are his wife, and not the hired help begging for a few extra dollars, so conduct your accordingly.

It'll become easier as time goes by. You will start to really love the new woman you're morphing into, and you know what? There just might be an extra perk in this for you. The new and improved woman sitting across the dinner table from your husband might be so very intriguing in her newness that you'll become the most interesting woman he talks to on a daily basis and suddenly he's sticking around for coffee in the mornings; reluctant to leave his beautiful butterfly!

Note: This album can be found and played on "Spotify."

Summertime

The fabulous foursome hadn't spent any quality time together since they had returned from their vacation in Jamaica. Personal agendas had been the order of the day, and kept them busy. As usual, the summer is a busy time for most folks; what with family reunions, family visits and all. Helena and her husband Stanford had spent nearly two weeks in Montana on a Dude Ranch with their daughters and sons, their spouses and all of the grandchildren. Then they had gone to Scottsdale, Arizona to recuperate at a luxury spa.

Bonnie had hosted her family reunion this year, and another one came and went without an appearance by her sister Yvette, but everyone else had come and according to Bonnie, a wonderful time was had by all. To her surprise and pleasure, her Mom decided to stay on a few more days to just relax and hang out with Bonnie. And Bonnie's brother had let his seven-year old daughter stay along with Grand-mama.

Claudette had taken a weeks' vacation in Myrtle Beach with some female co-workers from her job, and then she and her daughter had gone on a long weekend to Atlantic City for some serious gambling and a brief stop in New York on the way back for a little shopping.

And Alexis, had hosted an old friends get-together at her home for a few of her high school classmates who were in town visiting. She also had gone back to her college reunion with another college classmate that she had reconnected with a couple of years ago. They made a stop coming back from Virginia to spend a weekend in the mountains of Asheville, NC and toured the Biltmore House and grounds. The best part of her summer thus far was when her grand kids all got together and spent a week at her house, just hanging out.

So, the ladies were all in such a good place now. God was smiling on all of them and all of their families. Life was good, and when either of them thought back to what could have happened to them in Jamaica; well let's just say they could never be more grateful for life than they were at this present time. It was a subject that neither of them wanted to discuss any time soon for reasons that were obvious to them.

The lazy, hazy days of summer were rolling on by, the Fourth of July has been celebrated and each of the friends knew that they would be spending quite a bit of the season keeping in touch by text, or phone when they had the time to spare. This was family time, and nothing is more important than family.

There were as couple of projects on hold that they would be getting involved in come the fall season. One was helping Alexis to redecorate some of the rooms in her house, Bonnie was expecting her first grandchild in October, and the other was their annual shopping trip for fall wardrobes in Atlanta, GA. All of the ladies agreed that one must always have a little something to look forward to.

So, we'll just have to check in with these gals in a few weeks and get the low-down on who did what over the summer, who got drunk and showed off at the reunions, who hooked up with who again and all of the delicious gossip that makes for an interesting coffee klatch.

And let's not forget that we must discover “who” it was that Alexis saw at Abe's Place on her night out with Gloria. It makes you go"hmm...".

All Aboard the Sooooul Train!

When I began watching Soul Train I thought it was the coolest and the hippest show on television. Don Cornelius was one of the smoothest cats around with his rich velvety baritone voice. Of course the afro hairstyle he wore when the show debuted was just fly, and I was partial to this hairstyle anyway because for years I myself had worn one. I fashioned myself after one of my 70's era heroes...or should I say "sheroes"...Ms. Angela Davis. I was a fist pumping, afro wearing, "Power to the People" kind of a girl, whose everyday language was peppered with such colorful phrases as "solid", "cool cat", "hippest dude", and of course the most popular one that is still used today..."Right On!"

While I watched the different singing groups do their thing on Soul Train, and the Soul Train Dancers get their groove on, I got into the spirit of things by mimicing the dances and lip-syncing along with the singers with my trusty hairbrush for a makeshift microphone. I sang along with Gladys Knight & The Pips, Peaches & Herb, The Four Tops, Aretha Franklin and The Delfonics, and got all dreamy-eyed, hot and bothered by the rich soulfulness of Barry White just to name a few. 

I don't think there was a Black American group out there that did not perform on Soul Train at least once in their careers. It was a fabulous showcase for new artists and a marvelous venue for those that were established in the world of music and entertainment. It was not the easiest thing to do for a Black man to make his way in the entertainment world during the 1970's. But Don Cornelius did, and he made a success out of his show and left his mark after years of providing us with quality and fun and what will forever be one of the best musical variety shows on television.

This was not meant to be an ode to Don Cornelius, but just a simple remembrance of something that brought me joy and happiness for an hour on Saturdays amid my otherwise dull, lackluster and boring existence. Dancing can unlease a myriad of emotions in us, not the least of which is a freeing sort of sensuality. Dancing is a great tension reliever, and a creative means of communication. Whether it was the Hustle or  something made up from a mixture of older dances like The Jerk, The Swim, The Horse, or The Running Man (progressive eras in dance) just being able to cut loose to the beat and work up a sweat freed the mind and relaxed the body.

The Soul Train line lives on afterdecades of popularity at wedding receptions, cabarets, and other parties. The Soul Train line will get everybody out on the dance floor and no partner is required. I believe it will be immortal and will never lose its appeal or its effectiveness at bringing out the part animal in all of us. Nothing can compare to the rush of heading down the line showing off your moves and keeping perfect timing to the rhythm and the beat. I feel like I can get up and bust a move right now!

So the next time you're dreading that same old routine of vacuuming and dusting, just put on some Frankie Beverly & Maze, or some O'Jays and get your groove on! Put down that broom and fancy yourself strutting down the soul train line and then clap your hands, snap your fingers and stomp your feet. Let's get it o with Love...Peace...and Sooooul!

"What's Going On"?

"Mother mother...there's too many of you crying. Father; father; father...there's far too many of you dying. You know we've got to find a way; to bring some lovin here today...". These are the immortal words of the late iconic Marvin Gaye, who recorded this song on a hit album by the same title in the early 1970"s. It immediately became the theme song for a race of people in the United States of America...Black Americans who sought after answers to the hundreds of "whys" plaguing us. 


In a decade that was ripe with extreme racial unrest, political corruption, and the fall out from the Viet Nam war, this song was a fitting mantra. We asked "what's going on?" about racial bias and prejudices, bigotry, violence in the streets and the lack of opportunities for a better way of life among our people. The truly tragic thing about all of this is that some forty-odd years later...we are asking the same question for many of the same reasons.


Sadly, the same biases and prejudices are alive and well. Oh, not as much as before, and not so easily recognized, but as thinly veiled as it may appear...make no mistake...we can see, touch and witness to it. The ugliness has taken on new forms and has morphed into something that is shielded under and by indifference, apathy, and two-faced personalities. It can almost be called a case of "the better to know the devil" because too many times we just don't know who we are facing and where their head is on the above issues. Who can be trusted and who are the mock sympathizers? Not fully referred to as "the enemy" but not actually a friend; thus the phrase "frenemy" can be applied. These are those who straddle the fence and to our faces will agree with the happenings of society as applied to Black Americans, but would they be your tie-breaker in a standoff, or march with you in a protest?


Here's the thing; yes I am thrilled that the violence of the 60's and 70's is behind us. I am equally thrilled that there are no organized protests, no policemen beating us with fire hoses, and clubs. Happy that our children of today can go to school and play with each other...brown and white together. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for ALL of his efforts to promote racial harmony. 


But, even though we have come so very far and conditions and situations have improved drastically, the underlying hatred for Black Americans remains. No matter how well educated or prosperous we become, we still cannot say we have arrived. Yes, I do believe that part of the problems lie with our own, and many of us (especially our Black males ) have become stereotyped. And no, I don't think that the majority of us a proud race of people are whining about anything. Just as it was then, it is the same now...we want to know what's going on? How do we emerge from that mold?


So, I guess maybe this is one of the timeless questions that while it may have an answer, it has no answers. Yea..that's right and it's deep too. A real conundrum. And it may remain so for many years to come. I hope not. While we have made significant progress let us not be satisfied to let that progress rest on its laurels. We want to always be in a mode of continuous improvement so that the next generation that asks the question "what's going on"? will find a satisfactory solution not just an answer.

Sisters Interrupted...The Last Chapter

And so by now (if you have been keeping up with the story), we are in a state of semi-shock over what has been said thus far. There is a whole new side to our friend that we had no idea existed! Far from us to be judgmental, but this was information we were simply not prepared for. Needless to say, we had to top off our drinks, and make them doubles by now. So, the story continues...

Bonnie then said that it didn’t take much cajoling on Waverley’s part to get her to join him.  He probably figured that she was getting back at her sister and frankly it was all the same to him. Whether out of spite or not, or who was using who was totally irrelevant at this point. That they got together was all he wanted. So off they went together, but out of a sense of decency; they retired to Bonnie’s old bedroom.

She spent that night and the rest of the weekend with each other with Waverley as her starter husband, and she caught up in a web of deceit, sinful lust and misplaced spite. But, as she was packing to return to college on Sunday afternoon, it hit her and it hit her hard about what she had done. The acts of betrayal were like a bitter taste in her mouth. She had no misconception about what she had done, she did not question her behavior, and no misplaced blame on her brother-in-law, she accepted her part in the dirty deed. Nevertheless, after it was all over, they avoided each other all Sunday morning. Before she donned her hair-shirt in self-recrimination, she informed him that she was going to tell her sister about what had happened.

Of course he begged her not to, but she was determined to at least get that much off of her conscience. After she had finished packing and made herself a light meal, she sat down in the living room to wait for the family’s arrival. Earlier, Evie had phoned Waverley and let him know they would be home in a couple of hours, so the time was very near...in about twenty minutes or so. He stayed locked way in the room he shared with Evie. When the door opened and her father walked in , Bonnie knew the hour had come.

She hugged and kissed her parents and gave her sister a weak smile but no intimacy passed between them. Amid her Mom’s questions and attempts at conversation, Bonnie asked Evie to come into her room upstairs. Long story short, she broke it down to her about the weekend with her husband, and although she was sorry she had hurt her, she wanted to leave with a clear conscience. Well, Evelyn Yvette wasn’t about to let it go that easily. She hit Bonnie smack dab in the face, and Bonnie hit her back. After that it was punch for punch and lick for lick. A real knockdown drag out cat fight. 

Their parents came up and broke up the fight, sat them down and tried to understand what had caused this. So of course the whole sordid tale was repeated, her Mom was mortified and she cried and nearly passed out, her dad was ready to kill Waverley and Evie vowed never to speak to her again. They shared the same parents, but they were no longer sisters. It had been that way until this day. Bonnie admitted she had made several attempts at reconciliation over the years, but Evie had not responded. 

Yes, she had truly repented of her sins, and God forgave her and after a time she forgave herself. It took a while, but she and her parents had put the past behind them and Evie and Waverley were still married, but she never saw them. Bonnie had paid the price for a brief time of reckless abandon and the cost was extremely high.

She missed her sister. Never would she have believed she would feel this way, especially after the way their relationship was anyway...tolerant but not bonded in sisterhood. After a few moments of silence, we pulled ourselves together and Alexis got us all to hold hands and we got down on our knees and prayed for healing of this awful family rift, and we asked God to restore these sisters to a relationship better than it was before. To give them back what had been lost between them, and then we all had a beautiful tear fest...after all what are friends for?

Do you like what you read? Leave a comment!

  

Sisters Interrupted...A Confessional (Part Two)

We remained in full rapturous attention mode while Bonnie began her story...or as she opened with; "her confessional". The telling involved her, her older sister Evelyn Yvette ("Evie" for short) and Evie's husband Waverly Knight. When Evie and Waverly began their wedded life together, it was on a shoe string budget, so the new couple lived with the bride's parents. Of course this arrangement was supposed to be temporary just until they could save up enough money for a down payment on a place of their own.

Bonnie is the youngest of three girls, making her seven years Evie's junior, because Evie is the oldest daughter. So, she was at this time a young, beautiful and impressionable nineteen, and a sophomore at college. One particular weekend she came home unexpectedly because she was bored beiong on campus and was a little homesick for her parents. She had called her Mom but when she didn't get an answer she decided to just come on home because she knew her Mom would be thrilled.

Bonnie didn't really care about visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Knight at all. Actually, she didn't really like her sister all that much anyway. Evie had always thought herself entitled as the oldest daughter in a female dominated household. She was practically a bully to poor Dyane (the middle daughter called 'Delicious' for short), but Bonnie didn't take no wooden nickels from her. And as for Waverly; well he was so conceited and vain until it was totally beyond thought how any woman could stand him.

Now at this point in the story, we all paused for additional refreshment and to fill up our snack plates. after we had settled back down, having had potty breaks and all, Bonnie continued. Okay...on this weekend Bonnie arrived home around 3pm on Friday afternoon. She was tired and hungry after her four hour drive from school and she made a beeline for the kitchen and the fridge. She was standing there checking out the leftovers in the fridge when she felt the prescence of someone else in the room. Turning her head towrds the door, she saw her brother-in-law leaning against the door jamb looking her over like she was a piece of meat.

She said hello to him and asked if he shouldn't be out looking for work. To this he replied that he had finished combing the streets for today. When he said this, Bonnie's first thought was "combing the streets for what?' she wondered and let out a chuckle. He made no pretense that he was coming on to her; he came over and backed her up against the sink. He placed his arms on either side of her and said how fortunate he was that she came home because otherwise he would have had to spend the next two days and nights alone.

"Where's everyone at? Where's Mom and Dad?' she asked as she pushed him away and walked over to the table to sit down. He got out a couple of cold beers from the fridge and passed her one and said that they had gone down to see Aunt Maddie for the weekend. Aunt Maddie's son had called and told Bonnie's Mom that she was very very ill and needed to see all of her family. Naturally Evie went with them since she was family, and naturally he didn't since he wasn't.

Now, like she had said earlier, she didn't care for her sister and her high fallutin ways, and it was a stretch to be around Waverly, but something in her (probably her alter-ego) found this situation interesting. She met Waverly's direct gaze and returned his smile as they clink their beer bottles together in a mock salute. What is going on here? Well she would be finding out soon enough...


Do you like what you read?  Leave us a comment!

Absolutely Fabulous!

We are very blessed to wake up each new day with brand new opportunities and chances to live our lives. With the dawn of each morning, we are presented with a blank canvas and choices to make on how we want to paint that canvas and present it to the world. Some days are more special than others. Some days are absolutely fabulous.

Have you ever awakened from a most restful night’s sleep, one where you entered and stayed a while in the land of REM sleep; a lovely and magical place where we dream and sleep soundly? The most languorous feeling of well being greets us when we open our eyes to the morning after a night of peaceful rest and deep sleep. On mornings like these we can’t help but smile to ourselves and wish we could just throw open our arms and embrace the universe! We just know that this day will be something where anything is possible. This day will be absolutely fabulous!

These days are a rarity and should be bookmarked in our memories favorite folder. There will be days when the clouds are heavy on the horizon, and the winds will blow and bring a chill to our souls. It will rain and leave muddy puddles on the landscape of our spirit, so it will be great to have these warm and fuzzy memories to cheer us.

So after we open our eyes to a new day, and we stretch and smile ourselves awake, we pause for a moment to consider what lies ahead for us today. Maybe its the prospect of an exciting shopping trip, a long awaited luncheon at a favorite place with our best friend, or the anticipation of a date later that evening with the man in our life. 

It doesn’t matter which main event it is that beckons us, its the expectation of the event that gives us that natural high on life. We may feel as if we have a herculean strength about us or that we are invincible at work or up to the challenge of running the next 10k in our city. The endorphins are loose and getting the job done big time!

Everyone gets a smile and a cheery hello from us today. We may leave a bigger tip for our hair stylist, or for the always courteous and efficient waitress at our favorite diner or even more fabulous...have a sing-a-long with a song on the radio while sitting in traffic, and not bat an eyelash when someone (who obviously is not having a fabulous day) rudely pulls out in front of us and slows almost to a crawl, causing us to have to stop short. Never mind! It’s a fabulous day!

Life is unpredictably unpredictable, but that is also a vital part of its charm. By never knowing how it will play out, we are more aware of ourselves and the part we play in our own lives. The whole world is a stage and everybody plays a part. Live your life in a way that reflects your choices and your individuality. Be yourself because you are absolutely fabulous!

Over the Rainbow...

Rainbows are notoriously welcome crowd pleasers.Usually making an appearance right after a rain shower, they are always a welcome and cheerful sight. They are also rare because a rain shower does not guarantee a rainbow will follow, so each time one does appear, it strikes an awesome wonder in us as it stretches and bows its colorful splendor across the sky.

Irish mythology  has it that there is a pot of gold located at the end of a rainbow with a cute and lively Leprechaun guarding it, and only dispensing the gold coins to the most deserving beneficiaries. Many of us as children grew up believing in this tall tale, and two very famous composers wrote a song “Over the Rainbow” in 1939 for the movie “The Wizard of Oz” (Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg) that promised bluebirds could fly so high over the rainbow, and by believing it was possible one human could also.

The real motivation here behind this lovely and timeless song is that if we are willing to believe hard and long and faithfully in what seems impossible, then we can indeed walk across the bridged gap between reality and the stuff dreams are made of. The coming alive of the dream is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

How many of us have stretched our imaginations and dreamed our dreams and rode on the tailwinds of fantasies made entirely realistic by a rainbow? After all the biblical explanation of a rainbow was that God made it and put in the heavens after the flood that destroyed the earth as a sign and a covenant promise from him that the world would never again be destroyed by water (Genesis 9:13-17 KJV).

If we want to make a connection between this and our dreams, we can know that through faith and trust in God we can touch the intangible, see the invisible and believe the impossible. Doesn’t this put a rainbow perspective on things?

My friend and fellow grandmother Claudette Richardson had so many doubts and fears in her life before she looked to the rainbow. When she first started talking about rainbows and how they fit into her life, I must admit I was baffled. I didn’t understand where she was coming from with all of this talk. She obviously was way ahead of me in her belief and value system and what she considered spiritual. After she broke in down to me I was impressed with her steadfastness and her stalwart devotion to the manifestation of miracles and rainbows.

Even though she was physically present here with us, her spirit had already soared “over the rainbow” into a place where she could live in peace, joy and a comfort that can only be received by accepting something supernatural. By supernatural I mean “not able to be done or achieved by man” but only by the wonderfully free and marvelously liberating grace of God! For by living under grace we can truly let go of selfish motives and get off of the merry-go-round of trying to fix our lives and how we react to our circumstances.

Claudette has been an inspiration to her friends and a shining example of what a Christian woman should be. This sis something we all need; a person we can look to as a port in a storm. God gives us these special people in our lives…sometimes for just a season and at other times if we are so blessed…for a lifetime. We will always have our faults and we always fall short of the glory, but with an anchor cast upon a rainbow…we will never go too far adrift in this sea we call LIFE.

Mother to Grandmother...And Still a Woman

What every mother enjoys as she raises her family is the fact that she is needed. Needed and valued and family life just cannot function in it's fullest fullness without Mother. We start off involved in our children's lives with the unmatched joys of infancy; diaper changes, bottle washing, sleepless nights, you know the whole drill. These life events are permanently etched in every part of our brain, and they make up cherished memories and the memories multiply as each child reaches a milestone in their life. Before we know it, we were standing at the bus stop sending them off to elementary school and the next day we are in the audience at their high school graduation. Fast forward to college years, marriages, and births of the grandchildren and viola! you get to do it all over again. Here is the difference this time around...you are usually not the one in charge and your role is to mentor (parents first; remember the new parents who used to be your very own little kid?) and later on in life to the second generation child.

Now I know that the "so-called traditional role" of Grandmother has morphed into full-time substitute Mother in some families where Grandma is the only Mother some children have ever known. That is nothing new. And one major reason why we should not define "traditional" slots for us to fit in. The real grandmother role has been up front and center for ages. Some of us live in, some of us have the grands as members of our own household or we commute to babysit. Either way the scenarios change depending on the family dynamic and we provide whatever they need from us. That's what we are all about.

But, there is a flip side. Aside from being loving and nurtuing to the grandchildren and providing intricate support systems and functioning as cheerleaders for our own sons and daughters guess what? We exist as a separate entity. We are intelligent, intellectual, sensual, interesting, and independent of our families. We can balance our checkbooks, change the air filters in our homes, engage in enlightening conversation and hold our own in a political debate. In other words we are REAL. Romance, intrigue and love exists in our lives. These are some of the topics I will be discussing in my posts. Follow me and let's see what this is all about.