"What's Going On"?

"Mother mother...there's too many of you crying. Father; father; father...there's far too many of you dying. You know we've got to find a way; to bring some lovin here today...". These are the immortal words of the late iconic Marvin Gaye, who recorded this song on a hit album by the same title in the early 1970"s. It immediately became the theme song for a race of people in the United States of America...Black Americans who sought after answers to the hundreds of "whys" plaguing us. 


In a decade that was ripe with extreme racial unrest, political corruption, and the fall out from the Viet Nam war, this song was a fitting mantra. We asked "what's going on?" about racial bias and prejudices, bigotry, violence in the streets and the lack of opportunities for a better way of life among our people. The truly tragic thing about all of this is that some forty-odd years later...we are asking the same question for many of the same reasons.


Sadly, the same biases and prejudices are alive and well. Oh, not as much as before, and not so easily recognized, but as thinly veiled as it may appear...make no mistake...we can see, touch and witness to it. The ugliness has taken on new forms and has morphed into something that is shielded under and by indifference, apathy, and two-faced personalities. It can almost be called a case of "the better to know the devil" because too many times we just don't know who we are facing and where their head is on the above issues. Who can be trusted and who are the mock sympathizers? Not fully referred to as "the enemy" but not actually a friend; thus the phrase "frenemy" can be applied. These are those who straddle the fence and to our faces will agree with the happenings of society as applied to Black Americans, but would they be your tie-breaker in a standoff, or march with you in a protest?


Here's the thing; yes I am thrilled that the violence of the 60's and 70's is behind us. I am equally thrilled that there are no organized protests, no policemen beating us with fire hoses, and clubs. Happy that our children of today can go to school and play with each other...brown and white together. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for ALL of his efforts to promote racial harmony. 


But, even though we have come so very far and conditions and situations have improved drastically, the underlying hatred for Black Americans remains. No matter how well educated or prosperous we become, we still cannot say we have arrived. Yes, I do believe that part of the problems lie with our own, and many of us (especially our Black males ) have become stereotyped. And no, I don't think that the majority of us a proud race of people are whining about anything. Just as it was then, it is the same now...we want to know what's going on? How do we emerge from that mold?


So, I guess maybe this is one of the timeless questions that while it may have an answer, it has no answers. Yea..that's right and it's deep too. A real conundrum. And it may remain so for many years to come. I hope not. While we have made significant progress let us not be satisfied to let that progress rest on its laurels. We want to always be in a mode of continuous improvement so that the next generation that asks the question "what's going on"? will find a satisfactory solution not just an answer.

Sisters Interrupted...The Last Chapter

And so by now (if you have been keeping up with the story), we are in a state of semi-shock over what has been said thus far. There is a whole new side to our friend that we had no idea existed! Far from us to be judgmental, but this was information we were simply not prepared for. Needless to say, we had to top off our drinks, and make them doubles by now. So, the story continues...

Bonnie then said that it didn’t take much cajoling on Waverley’s part to get her to join him.  He probably figured that she was getting back at her sister and frankly it was all the same to him. Whether out of spite or not, or who was using who was totally irrelevant at this point. That they got together was all he wanted. So off they went together, but out of a sense of decency; they retired to Bonnie’s old bedroom.

She spent that night and the rest of the weekend with each other with Waverley as her starter husband, and she caught up in a web of deceit, sinful lust and misplaced spite. But, as she was packing to return to college on Sunday afternoon, it hit her and it hit her hard about what she had done. The acts of betrayal were like a bitter taste in her mouth. She had no misconception about what she had done, she did not question her behavior, and no misplaced blame on her brother-in-law, she accepted her part in the dirty deed. Nevertheless, after it was all over, they avoided each other all Sunday morning. Before she donned her hair-shirt in self-recrimination, she informed him that she was going to tell her sister about what had happened.

Of course he begged her not to, but she was determined to at least get that much off of her conscience. After she had finished packing and made herself a light meal, she sat down in the living room to wait for the family’s arrival. Earlier, Evie had phoned Waverley and let him know they would be home in a couple of hours, so the time was very near...in about twenty minutes or so. He stayed locked way in the room he shared with Evie. When the door opened and her father walked in , Bonnie knew the hour had come.

She hugged and kissed her parents and gave her sister a weak smile but no intimacy passed between them. Amid her Mom’s questions and attempts at conversation, Bonnie asked Evie to come into her room upstairs. Long story short, she broke it down to her about the weekend with her husband, and although she was sorry she had hurt her, she wanted to leave with a clear conscience. Well, Evelyn Yvette wasn’t about to let it go that easily. She hit Bonnie smack dab in the face, and Bonnie hit her back. After that it was punch for punch and lick for lick. A real knockdown drag out cat fight. 

Their parents came up and broke up the fight, sat them down and tried to understand what had caused this. So of course the whole sordid tale was repeated, her Mom was mortified and she cried and nearly passed out, her dad was ready to kill Waverley and Evie vowed never to speak to her again. They shared the same parents, but they were no longer sisters. It had been that way until this day. Bonnie admitted she had made several attempts at reconciliation over the years, but Evie had not responded. 

Yes, she had truly repented of her sins, and God forgave her and after a time she forgave herself. It took a while, but she and her parents had put the past behind them and Evie and Waverley were still married, but she never saw them. Bonnie had paid the price for a brief time of reckless abandon and the cost was extremely high.

She missed her sister. Never would she have believed she would feel this way, especially after the way their relationship was anyway...tolerant but not bonded in sisterhood. After a few moments of silence, we pulled ourselves together and Alexis got us all to hold hands and we got down on our knees and prayed for healing of this awful family rift, and we asked God to restore these sisters to a relationship better than it was before. To give them back what had been lost between them, and then we all had a beautiful tear fest...after all what are friends for?

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Absolutely Fabulous!

We are very blessed to wake up each new day with brand new opportunities and chances to live our lives. With the dawn of each morning, we are presented with a blank canvas and choices to make on how we want to paint that canvas and present it to the world. Some days are more special than others. Some days are absolutely fabulous.

Have you ever awakened from a most restful night’s sleep, one where you entered and stayed a while in the land of REM sleep; a lovely and magical place where we dream and sleep soundly? The most languorous feeling of well being greets us when we open our eyes to the morning after a night of peaceful rest and deep sleep. On mornings like these we can’t help but smile to ourselves and wish we could just throw open our arms and embrace the universe! We just know that this day will be something where anything is possible. This day will be absolutely fabulous!

These days are a rarity and should be bookmarked in our memories favorite folder. There will be days when the clouds are heavy on the horizon, and the winds will blow and bring a chill to our souls. It will rain and leave muddy puddles on the landscape of our spirit, so it will be great to have these warm and fuzzy memories to cheer us.

So after we open our eyes to a new day, and we stretch and smile ourselves awake, we pause for a moment to consider what lies ahead for us today. Maybe its the prospect of an exciting shopping trip, a long awaited luncheon at a favorite place with our best friend, or the anticipation of a date later that evening with the man in our life. 

It doesn’t matter which main event it is that beckons us, its the expectation of the event that gives us that natural high on life. We may feel as if we have a herculean strength about us or that we are invincible at work or up to the challenge of running the next 10k in our city. The endorphins are loose and getting the job done big time!

Everyone gets a smile and a cheery hello from us today. We may leave a bigger tip for our hair stylist, or for the always courteous and efficient waitress at our favorite diner or even more fabulous...have a sing-a-long with a song on the radio while sitting in traffic, and not bat an eyelash when someone (who obviously is not having a fabulous day) rudely pulls out in front of us and slows almost to a crawl, causing us to have to stop short. Never mind! It’s a fabulous day!

Life is unpredictably unpredictable, but that is also a vital part of its charm. By never knowing how it will play out, we are more aware of ourselves and the part we play in our own lives. The whole world is a stage and everybody plays a part. Live your life in a way that reflects your choices and your individuality. Be yourself because you are absolutely fabulous!