She Works Hard for the Money

It had been intended to be the event of the year. Hours and hours had gone into the planning and many, many weeks had been filled with endless frustration and a seemingly never-ending task list of things to do. Then, there was the hard-to-deal with prim a-donas who were the dress designers, the flower designers, the caterers and the list went on and on...and on. All of them were always right and no one was ever wrong! And not necessarily at the end of that list were the people in the bridal party. Talk about selfish, egotistical and just downright bitchy!! Alexis had never met a more tiresome and irritating group of women.

But what was she to do? This was her first gig as a newly minted Wedding Planner and Developer. This new career move had been in the works for a couple of years. After she had graduated and received her degree, she then had to deal with the exhausting process of a new business start-up. She had worked closely with her son to create a workable and doable business plan, she had secured financing for the suite of offices she rented, hired her assistants, met with advertisers networked with other entrepreneurs and business people who would be invaluable as both promotional and operative support. Every single detail had been carefully executed and nine months ago she opened for business!

Almost immediately after she advertised her grand-opening she had booked her first wedding. Of course, there had been plenty of up front advertising, and she had hosted a couple of meet and greet cocktail parties with local women's organizations to help get her name out there, so it was no real surprise that she hit the ground running. Her confidence as an extremely capable and efficient designer/developer was in place. She had no qualms about getting busy with her first official job, and from start to finish it had been a true accomplishment.

The brand-new custom tailored wardrobe Alexis had secured was stunning. Each item of clothing had been designed and made just for her, and each item was a work of art. Now mind you; she didn't get couture fashions...that was out of the question, but she was fortunate enough to have been able to afford a basic business wardrobe consisting of mix and match separates. In addition, there was a selection outfits ranging from formal to business chic to be worn at the weddings she hosted and other social affairs as required.

Her good fortune was the result of being in the line of someone else's blessings. To be accurate, a very dear friend of hers had been the recipient of a huge financial windfall, and had been extremely generous with Alexis. And to top it all off, her new digs were the work of a fabulous new up and coming designer whose name was already on the lips of some pretty influential folks.

So this wedding...her debut project was set to take place in two days. She had been over her final-final-final check list with her assistant at least three times and could not find any action items that had not been completed. The plans were in place and all was ready with the exception of two minor details that were scheduled to be taken care of the next day, and Sunny was going to make that happen. She was on the books at her favorite spa for a full day of beauty and relaxation the next day and frankly she couldn't wait.

She logged off of her laptop, and turned off her iPad. No use of any electronic gadgetry except her phone was allowed for the rest of this night! Tonight she was entertaining a gentleman friend and she needed to change her clothes and make herself beautiful for her date. It had been a long time since they had seen each other and she was excited about being with him tonight. Although she didn't expect any physical intimacies beyond first base, it was still exciting to prepare for an evening with a handsome and viral member of the opposite sex; especially when you knew you'd have a good time.

Smiling to herself, and singing off-key a popular R&B song, off she went to her boudoir to do her thing.

And then...it happened...  

Coming Soon!

Hello Readers and Followers of The Real Grandmothers of Charlotte...Keep it Real! We are excited to announce to you (our loyal reading audience) that during the month of August, we will be heating up the stories with some "muy caliente" posts! Since August is the hottest month of the year, its only fitting that we up the temperature here too.

Each of the grandmothers will be revealing a never before known story about themselves and things from the past. In a "ride or die" dare, the fabulous ladies will let you behind closed doors, and make you privy to some of their most daring truth or dare stories.

Appropriately, this series will be called "True Confessions" and we guarantee you will be hooked!

Join us next week for the first post in our mini series as we look into the secret closet of our four fabulous ladies!!

Perception and Reality

I often recall an incident that took place over twenty five years ago at my work. It was during a time that was both vulnerable and volatile for me. You see, I had just gotten a promotion at work, and the main function of this position was to provide training for new employees and refresher training for the existing ones. There was a tremendous amount of work involved here and there were other factors that only added to the degree of difficulty on this job. 

The new employees were an interesting mix of folks with a variety of personality traits, attitudes and the willingness to listen, and learn from being properly trained. I was one of four women who had gotten promoted to trainers and we all had the same responsibilities toward our own jobs and for our new trainees. 

Anyway, some of them were challenging me on my method of training and how I responded to them and their different needs, and how I rated them on the learning curve. Once a week I would have to meet with my supervisor and we would discuss the progress and/or the lack of concerning the new employees. During these weekly meetings, we would also review our objectives and make the necessary adjustments to meet the needs of the trainees. And so it was during one of these meetings that my supervisor called me on the carpet and made the famous statement that I would recall years and years later.

Well, he began the conversation by informing me of several complaints he had received about my “attitude” and my “behavior” that wasn’t agreeing with the trainees. I had been accused of being sarcastic, unhelpful, and condescending to the little darlings. They also said I was showing partiality and was trying to make them feel stupid. Now, I ask you; how do you make someone else feel stupid? You’re either stupid or you’re not and that is totally on the individual and not the cause of another person. I may have been guilty of a trespass or two, but I sure as heck did not own up to it. And I still maintain that nobody can make another feel stupid. 

I figured that I could convince my supervisor that I was being blackballed for no substantial reason, and that their complaints were grossly exaggerated. He didn’t agree or disagree but he maintained neutrality that really got on my nerves. I mean; I thought he should have been standing up for me who was a long term employee who had always done a great job and all, right? After all, why was he rushing to the defense of a bunch of whiny complaining newbies? How can you justifiably complain about the training you receive and feel as if you need to make suggestions for a better way to do something when you haven’t even learned the right way yet?

I sat there and listened to him and tried to maintain a poker face all the while seething inside at the sheer nerve of the cry babies and the gall of him to even approach me in this manner as if he assumed they were right and I was…not. Finally at the end of his diatribe, I gathered myself together and asked him what he thought about me (knowing my work ethic and record as he did), because it was important to me what he thought more than what they thought. Not a good move on my part because then he thought I was not showing enough concern for them not only as new employees, but as my fellow coworkers.  Huh? 

 

So now this brings us to the point of this story. He leans back in his chair and steeples his fingers and as he rocked back and forth he says to me that “It’s not how you think you appear to others but it is what they perceive you to be that matters”. This did not sit well with me at all. First off, who did he think he was…a Freudian professor? And who did they think they were? I won’t repeat here what I said then, just be sure that it was a collection of descriptive four letter words.

So perception versus reality …hmm. How do you see it? Is what we perceive real or what is real not to be perceived as such because it’s not real? It can be a mind twister, I’ll say. And for the past twenty five years I connect that day with those words. If only I could perceive that right out of my life, then what had happened in that meeting would not have been real. 

 

All Our Best!

Ladies, Start Your Engines!

Whew! There's nothing like pure unadulterated excitement! Adrenaline pumping, heart racing, feet moving so fast they don't seem to touch the ground and feeling so good you want to shout it from the rooftops. Well, that's exactly how the four of us felt as we practically ran giggling and breathless through the airport to our gate, to wait for boarding our plane. Although we had plenty of time before our flight was scheduled to take off, we hurried along just for the fun of it.

Our very long awaited and very much needed vacation had arrived. You already know about most of the drama and the sadness and heartache we'd all gone through late last year and earlier this year, so when it came time for us to sit down and discuss our yearly sister sojourn, it was a welcome relief.

I wasn't too sure that we'd even be planning a trip this summer. After we had almost lost Helena, and Claudette had finally gotten involved in a committed relationship, I wouldn't have been surprised if nobody went but me and Bonnie, or nobody went at all. Imagine my happiness when everybody showed up at my house right on time, on the evening we had scheduled almost a year ago.

 Now, it was tradition for us to take a week's holiday together; we'd done so for a number of years. And it was a part of that tradition that we put on the calendar the date we'd convene to plan the next trip. We'd done just that on our last night in Paradise Island, Bahamas last year, each one of us adding it to our electronic calendars. Reminders were set so we wouldn't forget and when my reminder alerted me two days ago, I wasn't sure how to proceed.

I had the responsibility of hosting the rap session at my house, and so I went ahead and made preparations. In the past, there was never any need to question whether or not the ladies would show. We took for granted that we would, we'd plan and execute and it would always turn out fantastic. So at about six o'clock on that evening of our scheduled meeting, all of the food was prepared and laid out on the screened in back porch. The weather had been so agreeable, that I thought we'd enjoy the outside from the inside! I had set the sound system on a loop to play some old school R&B music, with the volume just right for listening and conducive to our conversation.

I had just put the finishing touches to the fruit and vegetable platter when my doorbell rang in a very insistent and prolonged way. Calling out that I was coming, I hurried from my kitchen through the foyer to the front door. As I reached for the door handle to open the door, I heard the unmistakable voice of my friend Bonnie. She was practically yelling "Open this here door diva!" So I threw open the door to them,and there they were...my three closet friends smiling from ear to ear, looking fabulous in their spring attire and standing together arms linked. I could tell simply by looking at these divas that we were in for a fabulous evening of  laughter, good food and drink.

It was hard to believe that we got anything serious done because we were in such a silly mood, but we selected our vacation spot, and elected Claudette as our travel coordinator. She would make all of the arrangements and take care of all of the bookings and let us know our share of the expenses. She really got into the role of travel agent, making sure we all had our passports in order. Having already decided ahead of time that we would reserve a villa type house, we knew that we would also have to share the costs of food, drinks and other necessary amenities.

Fortunately for us that was no problem. We all had funds available to cover our costs without breaking our personal banks. Being able to go on shopping and sightseeing excursions was a must, but we were comfortably off financially so our vacations didn't cause a ripple in our finances. Several years after our first trip, we each started a vacation club account just for our yearly holiday. We have been so blessed to be able to afford our sisterhood trip every year.

And so that brings us to the here and now. Here we were about to embark on our journey, where we would abandon any and all cares to the wind, and for the next week the agenda would consist of fabulous fun, tall drinks with little umbrellas in them, decadent food, luxurious spa treatments, shameful shopping and dabbling a little in the nightlife.

We had reached the gate for our airline and since we had all had electronic boarding passes, we decided to stop in at a bar and have a "departure celebratory drink". That was Helena's idea and honestly, these gals could find any reason in the world to have a drink! But what the heck, right? We had earned the right to celebrate and let loose. Looking forward to our time together in sunny Jamaica, we lifted our glasses in salute to each other. One by one, we toasted ourselves, and when it came my turn naturally I wanted to say something profound. So, I held my glass up high and tossed my head and said "To us; full speed ahead. Ladies, start your engines!"