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Friday, April 6, 2012

But Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." I  don't know how much substantiated fact is in that statement, but I can certainly understand the philosophy and the reasoning of it. If I could amend it, I would say" Fools in Love rush in where angels fear to tread". Meaning that sometimes and maybe too many times, we can fall in and out of love with alarming frequency. If that is the case is it really love we are feeling? Or, could it be a confusion of signals being sent to our brain resulting in exaggerated emotions? This kind of instability of emotions can prove to be more harmful to us than good for us.

When I wrote the post "A Clear and Present Danger" last year, I touched on this subject, but this is not a repeat of that post. This is a re-telling of a specific event that of course actually happened to a woman, told from the perspective of what happened to her. I am telling this story as with all of the others I've told, as a life learning tool, and preventive measure for all of our readers. Hopefully, if there is a woman out there who is dealing with this issue, she can find enlightenment and encouragement from this story for her dilemma, and know that God loves her faults and all.

Alexis was an emotional train wreck. She was a classic example of a woman who looked for love in all of the wrong men. Most of them had "loser" stamped on their forehead, but desperation and loneliness blinded her to seeing it. Instead, what she saw was a potential soul mate (even though she wasn't even sure what that meant) and someone to show off to her friends. She saw a man she could boast about as being her boyfriend, and she could show the world"See! I got a man now!". Unfortunately that never happened. Each man that came into her life either never stayed around long enough to meet and greet family and friends, or he was totally against any relationship going public. That opened an entirely new area of dissent.

One potential suitor in particular made his position clear from the git go. He approached their "relationship" with a mind blowing reality. He was not interested in marriage or an attachment that might obligate him beyond his comfort level. Let's call him "Trevor". Trevor was definitely attracted to Alexis, and enjoyed spending time with her, as long as it was confined to her basement family room. Several times she asked him to meet her for drinks somewhere but he always had an excuse not to accept. After they had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, he made his position clear to her. He did not ask her to be his steady girl, or ask her to explore an exclusive relationship with him. He asked her to be his sex buddy.

Now, I ask you ladies (and some guys too)...what could be more humiliating or debasing as this? I mean, to just come out and say this to a decent woman? Alexis asked him what did that mean, and he answered that it meant and he said that they would be there for each other for sex and fun and good times...mostly at her place. But he wanted it to be spontaneous. She didn't have to plan or anything; just if he was in the mood that particular night and there would be no strings attached. No promises made, and no commitment to honor. Whoa!!

Even in her solitary singleness, Alexis knew better than to accept this mess from Trevor or any other man for that matter. She wanted to be loved, honored and respected in her relationship. She did not want this alliance with the devil to invade her mind and her soul. She thought about asking him all kinds of questions and trying to make her position clear, in the hopes that he would change his mind. Something prevented her from doing that. She already knew that it would make no difference to him because inside he was broken...something was wired all wrong and he truly was not worth her time.

Feeling more rejected and defeated than ever, Alexis swore off men for the nth time. She began to think in earnest this time that there must be something wrong with her because no man wanted her. And the two longest lasting relationships she had had since becoming a widow had ended several years ago. She just didn't know what to do. She didn't know how other women far less attractive than she was had steady guys, and she cried many tears, and sat alone many nights with only her misery and self recriminations for company. What Alexis did not know was that there was much work ahead of her...recognizing who was really in charge of her life, giving that life over to the man in charge, and the confession and the repentance that must come so the healing could begin.

It would be a while before she started on that journey, but it was destined to happen. And one day when God's timing was right (and his timing is perfect and indisputable) the man intended for her would come into her life. It would be what she wanted and needed; a man who would compliment her, grow with her and serve God with her. Then there would be no questions, no doubts and no compromising of values. She would not have to lessen her respect and give away her body just to have a man beside her...just to be used as a person of little worth! When God placed his man in her life, and placed her in his life; she would not have to ask the question"But will you love me tomorrow? " That love that they will share will be honest, pure, binding and REAL!

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