Monday, January 23, 2012

A Clear and Present Danger...

We have been taught over and over again by our physicians, our primary care providers, activists, researchers, and a veritable conglomeration of others about the dangers of unprotected sex and the disastrous results that can happen...not ALWAYS, but statistics have shown more often than not that there is a tremendous risk involved here. We are educated beyond our level of obedience. Despite the knowing, the witnessing of what has happened to others and the tons of written information out there; there are too many women who still think "it can't happen to me". But, it can, and then we are left with enormous grief and worry about what we have done and how for a few moments of physical pleasure we virtually risked our health and our lives.

Now please understand...spontaneous intimacy has its own rewards, and can not only be extremely pleasurable but fun and exciting. But there are a couple of more important issues to be faced here. I am not  prudish or holier-than-thou by any means, but I am against pre-marital sex in any form and at any age or stage in our lives. That being said; the spontaneity is in reference to the marital bed. Moving on...let's look at how the rush of intimacy and the thrill of being close to a man can be deceptive to what we know is right in our minds and how the "feelings" of arousal can ambush us at a moments notice, causing all practical and careful thinking to abandon us, and then we are totally caught up in the whirlwind of feelings and we become weak and desire takes over and  all caution goes out the window.

We take all kinds of medicines to control conditions in our bodies. We give it no thought when we take our blood pressure , cholesterol, diabetes medicines, and when we exercise, watch our nutrition requirements, and have regular checkups with our medical teams. We go to the dentist, get our teeth cleaned, have our eyes examined, wear our corrective lens...all as part of our routine to maintain a healthy body so we can live a healthy life for ourselves and for our loved ones and friends. Yet some of us become selective amnesiacs at a moment in time when we need to keep our faculties straight and our own welfare uppermost in our minds. Just like birth control; we can't depend on the man to look out for us. And even if he did...shouldn't we have our own best interests for safety (yes even in the midst of passion) as a primary responsibility?

Too many women have died young, old and in-between from having unprotected sex with a man they have either just met, from a man who is just a "friend with benefits" (it's just sex, no strings attached) or and this is so scary...a man with whom there is an implied monogamous relationship but without our knowledge has been stepping out on the relationship, a man who is on the "down low". And the absolute worst nightmare involves our own husbands with whom there SHOULD be more than just implied monogamy.
Whereas the marital cheating is more complicated than I can address here, let's focus on the single ladies for now. Because a lot of women don't practice self-control for one reason or another(its not the thing to do, it's old fashioned, or the I-just-gotta-have-it syndrome) as well as thinking it can't or won't happen to them.

She has had a big fight with her steady guy and as revenge she goes out with a gal pal to party and  meets a man at the club who admires her and thinks she is hot and dances exclusively with her all night. She has willingly been fortifying herself with alcohol over the course of the night, and when she is sufficiently doused and aroused he makes his move. He has told her how much he wants her along with other lustful things and she is too weak to fight, so she manages to text her gal pal she came with that he will take her home. They don't stop on the way for protection because she has already told him she's on the pill.  Most men won't even ask...he did as only a way to further his cause. They go to a place where she may not be hurt by him but she most definitely will be harmed.

His outwardly clean appearance is misleading. She thinks that because he looks so good, there can't be anything "wrong" with him, but she has no idea that he is infected with a disease that he knowingly will pass on to her, and she will pass it on to her boyfriend when they make up again and this will bring about further complications in both of their lives. Ladies, what I am trying to say is to PLEASE think about what you are about to do, and the time to think is before and not after. The harm may be already done.

Don't let the pleasurable few minutes (okay...maybe an hour) you spend with a total stranger (or even someone you barely know) overrule your common sense and your survival instincts. Don't go off with men you have just met. Don't trust a man you barely know to care about your welfare. You are just a means to an end for him. One night stands no!! Take the time to get to know someone as best you can, and think...think...think about the cost of your decisions and how you will feel when you face the light of the next day.

Be safe and not sorry!

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