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Monday, September 3, 2012

Hey...Hey Mr. Dream Merchant...

This is a throwback to one of the most popular songs of the sixties era; crooned by no other than Mr. Jerry Butler. This was from a time when rhythm and blues and sweet soul music was the real deal. Artists sang their songs and we felt them touch us, surround us, envelope us with their soulful meanings and connotations. We all want those dreams of happiness, true love and truly committed relationships to come true. If only it was as easy as taking them to a 'dream merchant'; someone who could broker our deals into a happily ever after reality.

But that's not real life, and it doesn't happen that way at all. And on behalf of us single women out there either actively looking for ways to promote the dreams, or just simply waiting for destiny to take its course I have some questions; "How long do we hold onto the dream of waiting for 'Mr. Right' to come into our lives?" What about for those of us who have supposedly met him already..."How long do we wait for that all time important question to be popped?" And then, "How long do we wait for this all to come together so we can go on about the business of living our perfect lives?"

Some of us have been waiting with 'on again-off again' patience for years, and it has become the single ladies status quo. Because we all started out with a status 'pro-tem' that we expected to be changed in a few years instead of in a few lifetimes. Instead of reaching for the brass ring, now we've amended and edited and revised our dreams so much until we'll gladly accept the brass-plated ring. Many of us single and unattached (I clarify that because...lots of women are single, but are in committed relationships that may or may not lead to the altar) and would love having someone simply to share a meal with in the evenings.

Do married, relationship committed or engaged women take the simple things for granted? Do they remember how long and lonely the nights can get, or how sad it is to order Saturday night take-out to bring home and eat solo in front of the television set? Sometimes I wonder if they do. Or, do they now look down their prettily made-up noses at us and secretly wonder why we are alone and just what could be wrong with us.

Independence is fun and exciting to a young woman in her thirties, and it is admired and attractive when she is in her forties. But trust me, when a woman hits her mature years of fifty plus (unless she has recently been widowed or divorced; say within the past five years) it becomes anything but attractive, it sure is not exciting and nowhere near being admirable. Then, we start to look ...pitiful.

Why pitiful? Because this is the time of life when couples start to let themselves feel free to travel and to do the stuff they had only dreamed about years before. Families have been raised and reared. It should be a time of financial freedom and about focus on the two special people who have braved and withstood the tests of time and stayed together growing a love that has mellowed to perfection. And to be robbed of that wonderful part of our mature years is really sad. Sure, we could hop on a plane or a cruise ship and go it alone or with a group, but is it really the same? Remember...we did all of that smart single lady traveling in our thirties and forties when it was chic and cool to do so. But now its not that chic and its not that hip to vacation alone all the time.

Sigh. Well, life does go on and we must go on with it. Every once in a while we must do something to refuel our passion for life and to reaffirm our dreams. And I'm not just talking about considering the alternative to life which of course is death. I mean come out of hiding and learn to do something different, and accept a few challenges out of your comfort zone. Lots of positive stuff will help to rejuvenate those tired and bored attitudes toward our lives and stimulate our brain cells. Its definitely worth it!

So, while we will always look for the dream merchant, lets stay at the ready and adopt the motto 'be prepared' so that when he makes his appearance in our lives we have our hands on the brass ring.

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