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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

What Do the Lonely Do at New Year's...

New Years Eve. An occasion that has so many different meanings to so many people and it's exact degree of importance can depend on a myriad of qualifiers. It can represent a time of deeply moving spirituality and signifying a kind of new beginning in our lives when we can bid adieu to all of our bad habits and trash our excess emotional baggage like so much garbage. It can mean a mental stampede to make staunch resolutions that we have every intention of keeping until the resolve itself wears thin or wears down completely. The ushering in of a brand new year can be an excuse to go out and party-hardy until the sun comes up, letting go of any and all inhibitions and taking the opportunity to wear that slinky new black dress. The party-hardy atmosphere can be almost tragic to some of us...namely the single and unattached, unpromising, and sometimes unwelcome. Why? Because everyone knows that the loneliest place anyone in these situations can be is in a crowd, and single ladies are unwelcome at parties because they don't have a dance partner and attached women get tired of lending out theirs!

I have sat at the "Lonestar Ladies" table at company parties, wedding receptions, and various other events and let me tell you that it really and truly is a stressful and traumatic experience. During the line dancing music it's almost tolerable because everyone has fun then. It becomes stressful because you spend anywhere from 2.5-3 hours smiling and force ably laughing at something your table companions are saying, and from trying valiantly to maintain a casual "I'm okay being here without a man date" attitude and eventually your facade starts to crumble when the music changes lanes from fast and furious to low and slow and all of the happy couples take to the floor in close and intimate embraces, with real smiles on their faces meant only for each other. You know what I mean; songs like  Teddy Pendergrass's"Turn Out The Lights" or John Legends's "Slow Dance". Talk about trauma...whew boy!!

And the absolute worst is the disguised looks of pity you get from the women who are staunchly ensconced in their knowledge and security of being "wanted" because they show up with husbands (on this very special occasion a HUSBAND is a priceless commodity to some; but tomorrow he will be like Cinderfella and go back to being just him) or with a significant other and the newest flavor of arm candy...a friend with benefits. Summarizing...they got a man.

And then there's the "traditional watch night" service at church. Here is a sanctuary for single and unattached ladies because who cares if there is someone attached to your arm? You are here because you truly desire to be and there are no minimum requirements for social acceptance in the Lord's House. Come as you are...broken hearted, lonely, weary, downtrodden, poor and sad and He will give you rest for your souls. There is always an atmosphere of friendliness an camaraderie here and no one needs to feel inferior or anything because here is where you receive the love and the spiritual healing you need to rid yourself of the garbage bags of guilt, unhappiness, low self-esteem and any other negative travel cases in your luggage set.

Also there are the more closer knit neighborhood get-together where the new year is brought in by watching the ball drop in Times Square proceeded by enjoying lots of music, games, great food and drink and neighborly fun. I'm totally in favor of these because usually there is no need for motorized transportation and if you have one too many glasses of the joyful juice, why you can just stumble across the lawn to your own home and the risks are minimal. One possible drawback here: your name just might NOT be on the favorites list for the couple(s) who are throwing the bash. So keep in mind that if you want to be included and not sit alone in your house mentally threatening to call the police on account of the carrying on and the noise making you must have played nice with them, their kids and their dog during the year!

So there you have it. It is my wish that there will not be anyone feeling lonely or left out this New Year's Eve. If it is your choice to stay in and enjoy your own company, it is my wish that this is truly a choice you are making and not out of simply no where to go or o one to be with. No man is an island; we all need each other to survive and to healthy happy human beings. Reach out and touch someone this New Year's Eve. Extend the love of Jesus to them and it just might make all the difference in another's life.And do it with real love and compassion and not just superficially because I'm sure you know that Jesus will know the intention of your purpose.

Happy New Year to all of you and may no one know the stigma of loneliness and the absence of warmth and love this night!



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