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Friday, December 2, 2011

Definitely Maybe...Part One

It's been a minute since we talked about what was going on with my friend and fellow grandmother Claudette. She has made a terrific comeback from her traumatic experience confronting the breach of trust with her cheating ex-boyfriend Ray Taylor. We are all so glad that mess is behind us and now she can move on to better and bigger things in a brighter future!She didn't need expensive boutique therapy to get past the hurt and pain, but she relied on her faith and the power of prayer to bring her through; along with her earthly angels...her devoted friends.

Claudette has learned a hard life lesson; one that hundreds of women of all ages have been faced with at one time or another in their lives and that lesson's life point is: you simply cannot attain or live out your dreams and your destiny in the bedroom with a man you are not married to. Whether or not you are a believer in the ordained word of God or not, this holds true because He does not bless these unlawful unions (take what you will from that statement). Many of us have taken this course titled "Risky Business 101", and many of us have failed and had not the insight to know that the whole purpose of failing in this case is to move on by putting it behind you and not approach the situation as if it bore the instructions"give your life, your body, and your soul to this man out of wedlock, become a failure at loving yourself and then repeat".  Is this a wilderness mentality and will without doubt keep you from your true destiny and all that is supposed to belong to you? Definitely!

Now, here is the caveat: out of wedlock does not necessarily apply to the women who are single; this term applies to married women who are having affairs with a another man. How? Because if you are having an extramarital affair then you are out of wedlock with that particular man. I know what I'm talking about. Been there and done that in my totally selfish, immature and unbelieving past! For any woman who is walking down that dead-end path whether metaphorically (considering it) or in actuality (doing it) here is a bit of wisdom; that road can only lead to disaster and destruction. And here are a few of the friends who will never leave your side while you are going down that path ; heartbreak, bitterness,self-recriminations, guilt, shattered dreams an broken promises. And these are the lightweights! The heavyweights can include violence, ostracizing, and the heavy burden of a hardened heart and familial rejections and unforgiveness.

Even if the unholy union a woman enters into turns out the way she had hoped for and they either one party or both leave their prospective spouses and actually end up together in a new marriage. Will there ever be a real mutual trust between them? Maybe. Is it possible for them both to live a happily ever after given the way they started? Maybe. Were they swept away on a torrent of sexual feelings; sprinkled with stardust in the wake of a raging need for physical contact? Definitely.Are they being totally realistic about the future or are they simply being led around by feelings and emotions and the fact that she suffered from an overdose of dopamine (sexual hormones) that raged with this man (and of course listening repeatedly to Rick James "Fire & Desire"  while partaking of strong drink did NOT help).

Was she so susceptible to his praises, his compliments, and his attention that she reduced herself to being "the other woman", or was she really looking for love in all the wrong places? Searching for validation from another man because her own husband no longer provides it to her satisfaction? Emotions are very strong and they have very strong pulls in and on our lives. Sometimes it requires a HERCULEAN effort to resist the tempestuousness of doing wrong because it feels right. Definitely!These are temporary and very unforgiving and addictive vices that carry us along on a false/positive reality; one that so often we live in alone.

Stay tuned in a few days for Part Two...

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