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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Whose in Your Pit Crew?

Ladies, you know what that means, right? Your Pit Crew (or in other jargon: your posse or your peeps) but a rose by any other name and all. Alright, before I go off somewhere else let's get back to the story. Anyone who has watched a NASCAR race either live or televised has seen a Pit Crew in action. Simply put, they are always on and to make lightning fast repairs, tire changes, refuel, and anything else that is needed to get their drivers car back on the track in as little time as possible. Although the applied definition may differ to some degrees technically, the big picture of who a pit crew is and what they do can mean the same thing in our personal lives.

We all need to have people close enough to us that they have our best interests at heart and they are there for us to help us mend our brokenness, provide us with a shoulder when we need to cry, encourage us when we are feeling blue and participate in retail therapy with us when we seek a relief from the humdrum of life, and especially when we may be getting over a broken relationship. And let's do not discount the girls beauty night where we all sit around with our best friends and listen to R&B's best hits, wax our facial hair, trash the men we've split up with and imbibe on pitchers of lemon drop martinis...a potently refreshing beverage.

Obviously these sort of people must meet some pretty important criteria in order to handle the responsibilities described above. Trust is one of the biggies, but love is at the top of the list. Finding and keeping the sort of friend that you come to love as you would love yourself and sometimes more than family is by no means an easy accomplishment. Most women make childhood friends and keep one or two as their best for life. They always are in touch with each others lives, and they always seem to overcome any adversity that may invade their lives. I admire those who can say with a touch of pride in their voices "We've been friends since the second grade".

It is very easy to be duped by people who want to be in our world for purely selfish reasons. They are forever trying to get something from the friendship, or they are in it because they want to feel smarter and we are more than willing to allow them this free reign because... 1.our own self-esteem level is low or 2. we lack the nerve or the resolve to eject them from our atmosphere. Well, this just will not do. If there are people who hide behind any sort of false pretense, malign us in way, or are out to use us then they definitely do not belong in our world! We must cease with the frenemy alliances and serve them with deportation papers! Okay, so all of that was a tad melodramatic, but it got my point across didn't it?

A true friend will have to occasionally be privy to highly sensitive and sometimes embarrassing information about you and/or your family. That means a high level of confidentiality. I mean the friends you give your house key to while you're on vacation, or you trust them enough that they won't judge you when you reveal something to them no one else should know; the list goes on. Sure, it's a real possibility we can meet someone later in our lives and forge the kind of lasting and happy friendship that usually only comes from lifetime commitment, but let me say it is rare that this happens. Trying to do this as mature women either in our thirties, forties or beyond is difficult to do because of the competition women always find themselves involved in, and then it becomes hard to determine if this is to be a lasting friendship or something seasonal.

Only the child-like innocence of our school-yard years can produce the right kind of fruit needed to create bosom best buddies for life or BFF's. And this is because the only thing we asked of each other then was "do you wanna play?" A game of jacks, hop scotch, or Ms. Mary Mack was the stuff that worked. Perhaps that's the question we should ask of each other now when we think about adding someone to our Pit Crew. Instead of asking questions that signal a degree of envy; even though we fool ourselves into believing we're simply noticing these as excellent signs of good taste such as "where did you your hair done "(indicating we want that look ourselves) or "where did you buy those shoes" (indicating I want a pair just like them) we should perhaps just walk up and introduce ourselves and say" You wanna play?" and go skipping merrily along! Love those that are tried and true friends as you would yourself and when you find yourself in need of a quick fixer-up, you will know there are others you can count on to be there to get you back up and running in no time!

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