Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Mirror Mirror On The Wall...

My friend Helena had allowed her vanity and her quest for popularity compounded by her desire to please, and be liked by others to cause nearly irreparable harm to her body. She didn't stop with the bulimia. That was the first step on a path to self-destruction that included botox, tummy tucks and personal trainer sessions, all designed to recapture youth. Not that the botox and the personal trainer are bad ideas. Quite the opposite actually. I happen to believe in both, and I am emphatic about women of a certain age maintaining their outward appearance, wearing good makeup (and make sure it is applied correctly so as to enhance and not frighten others),well-fitting clothes and shoes, accessorizing correctly using the right colors; the list goes on and on. However, I have to say I am a huge fan of the good health and well-being of the inside of us; which includes our minds and our bodies. Helena was obsessive in all she did. She associated her self-worth with popularity and being in demand.

This reminds me of a situation one might find in a school girl's world where they are constantly the targets of peer pressure and the need to "fit in" but although it does happen we don't expect to hear about it within the life of a grandmother in her late fifties. As friends should do, we all rallied around Helena and we were there for her during her treatment and recovery period from the bulimia. She is in therapy for her obsessive-compulsive behavior, and she and her husband Stan are in couples therapy...just as a precaution because really folks, the man went through something trying to deal with his wife's over ambitiousness, and her physical issues as well as the financial strain all of this has brought about. It has since been determined that Helena's problems and her unconscious and unrecognized desire to do herself harm is rooted in her feelings of inadequacy, and the embarrassing situation with the Condo Board was the catalyst that got her moving forward on the path to mending, healing and restoration. Thank God there is a happy ending to her lifestyle issues. We can look youthful, we can behave in youthful ways, we can live a youthful lifestyles, but let's face it: we are not young. Let's embrace the wisdom that has come with our years,and although our youngest years may be behind us, the future can be very bright, healthy, happy and prosperous,and as long as our health and well being is fine, we can live life without restrictions.

We are beautiful and we are a very, very special breed of women...we are grandmothers. We have a legacy in our grandchildren and whatever we do will impact and has impacted the lives of these children. Every time we are with them and sharing in their lives, we are creating a life-time of good memories for them to one day share with their own children. Every time I hear one of mine say "Granny look!!" my heart swells with love. They will only be children once and we will only have this path to travel in life once.

So ladies hear me when I say that the next time you're tempted to become dissatisfied with your appearance, run quickly to the nearest mirror and look at yourself...really look at yourself and say "Mirror, mirror on the wall...I stand before you great and my spirit and in my heart...from the love of God I'm never far...because of the lovely woman I am...I'm gonna eat potato salad and ham!

Be blessed, love who you are, and come back soon. 

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