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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Finding Your True North...Part One


This is the first mini-series posted on my blog. Because of the length of this particular story I have made it a mini-series due to the fact that I wanted to tell the story in its entirety.  It is my sincere desire that our readers will find this mini-series fun and exciting and return to complete reading the entire series!

I used to be the undisputed, undeniable queen of dating bloopers and false romantic starts. My escapades into the world of dating are worthy of a doctoral thesis and could be chronicled in the New England Journal of Medicine under the subject of “The Basics of Insanity”.  And I have lived up to the definition of insanity by repeating the cycle of choosing and dating the wrong men time and time again expecting different results with each new guy. The only thing different about each one of them was their names because at the end of the day the behavior patterns, the “lines” and the outcome of our relationships were always the same. That is if these situations (for want of a better word because they usually did not progress to a real relationship level) could even be called dating.
I daydreamed a lot about finding the right man. I imagined that he was waiting for me just around the corner; everywhere I went. I smiled my best smiles, and tried to start conversations with guys whenever they looked like they were alone and little did I know then that all of my “desperate hormones” (the kind men can smell on you and make them run for cover) were out in full blast. I may as well have been wearing a sign on my forehead that said”Look over here! A desperate woman seeks a man!”  I made a list of all of the traits I wanted in my ideal man and tucked it inside of my Bible after fervently begging God to make it all happen for me.
That was my first mistake. I have since learned that there is no need to beg God for anything, we must believe and receive what we ask in his name by faith. Well, at this extremely frustrating time in my life I knew next to nothing about faith or how to pray effectively and in power. But that’s another story for another time; suffice to say that I was going around in circles, chasing my own rear end, looking for Prince Charming to either magically appear or I would find him on a dating site.
The fly in the ointment in these theories is that there would be men with whom I would want to associate with to be found in the dating pool (or should I say Dog Pound?). And if I thought of them as losers, then what did that make me for considering them? I do have a particular story I believe you will find amusing about a guy I met through an online site and for pity’s sake we shall refer to him as “Victor Crawford”.
I left a cleverly delightful message for him in his online mailbox and he actually called me later that night, and I will never forget his greeting to me. He said that after he heard my voice say “hello” he knew he was in love! OMG! I was already over the moon with naive excitement thinking that I had really found a keeper. So, we conversed that night and the next two nights which led us to the weekend, and our first date. Victor had told me he was a used car salesman in a neighboring city (only about 60 miles away) and he was legally separated form his wife (how many times have we heard that little gem?)
So, on a Sunday afternoon I first went to a department store in the mall for a complimentary makeup session. Satisfied that I looked gorgeous, I drove to the restaurant where we had agreed to meet and went inside to wait for him in the lounge area. True to his word he was on time and when he walked in I noticed right away how well he was dressed, and his promptness. I got up from the chair I was sitting in and walked over to meet him offering my hand to shake. Up close he was a very nice looking man and within 60 seconds I had observed the condition of his shoes, and the good grooming of his hands. He met all of my outwardly appearance requirements with smashingly good results. This was going to be a fabulous evening!
We went in to the restaurant and were seated by the hostess, and we began engaging in small talk that was not the least bit uncomfortable. I had the usual first date jitters but he was wonderful at making me feel at ease. Laughter and witty conversation came easy to the both of us and by the time we had finished our cocktails, in my mind I had us already marching down the aisle and purchasing monogrammed bath towels. I remember what impressed me the most about him on that date…he was in charge of the situation the entire time, I mean he did the ordering and all and he wore the most beautifully tasteful gold bracelet on his right wrist. I could find absolutely no fault with him on our first meeting.
Well, after our dinner and a round of after dinner drinks, we left the restaurant and went for a drive in his car. We parked and took a nice walk and by then it was getting pretty dark and cold (it was in early December), so he drove me back to my car and as he settled me in behind the wheel, he leaned in to kiss me.  It was such a nice kiss. It was just right for a first date kiss; not too provocative but with the right hint of more to come soon. Now don’t go getting any ideas about the “more to come”, what I mean is the promise of another kiss! He agreed to call soon and we parted company; him heading back the southern route and me riding on Cloud Eleven back to my house.
What happened a few minutes later just totally blew my mind! It took about 12 minutes for me to get home and no sooner had I walked in the house than the phone rang and it was Ira calling from his cell. He wanted to tell me that he was taken by surprise at his own reaction to our kiss. He couldn’t stop thinking about it or me. He hadn’t counted on feeling such a strong pull toward me. Do I even have to say how wonderful I felt hearing this? Or, how happy I was as I prepared for bed? Whoa! I floated just a little bit higher that Sunday night, and as corny as this may seem, I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

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